Jeremy Harper, a blogger and Web conferencing expert, responds to a request from Christina Cruz, who wants advice for an article she is writing. His advice is good, but his message is poorly organized, contains grammar and other errors, and is hard to read.

Your Task. Analyze the following message and note specific weaknesses with examples. Then revise if your instructor advises.  Remember that you can download these documents at www.cengagebrain.com.
To: Christina Cruz
From: Jeremy Harper
Subject: Replying to Your Request
Cc:
Bcc:
Dear Christina Cruz:
Hey, thanks for asking me to make a contribution to the article you are preparing and working up for Networking Voices. Appreciate this opportunity! Although you asked me to keep it brief, I could give you an extensive, comprehensive list of dos and don’ts for Web conferencing. If you want this, let me know.
As an alternative to in-person meetings, Web conferencing is increasingly popular. Here’s five tips for your article. First and foremost, plan ahead. All participants should be notified of things like the date, time, and duration. It’s your job to send log-ins, passwords, and printed documents by e-mail. My next advise is about identifying yourself. Don’t assume that attendees will automatically recognize your voice. The first few times you speak, its good to state your name.
Another tip has to do with muting (turning off) your phone. Believe me, there’s nothing worse than barking dogs, side conversations. And worst of all is the sound of toilets flushing during a conference. Ick!
You should play with your microphone and speakers until you sound good. And of course, don’t shuffle papers. Don’t eat. Don’t move things while your speaking.
My final tip involves using a lobby slide to open. This is a slide that tells the meeting details. Such as the start time, audio information, and the agenda. This lobby slide should go up about 10 to 15 minutes before the meeting begins. 

Hope this helps!
Jeremy Harper
[Full contact information]
1. List at least five weaknesses with examples.