The following instruction memo is negative and unpolished and lacks the “you” view. It needs a radical rewrite to transform it into an efficient, effective memo. List its weaknesses, and then rewrite it with a bulleted list and more emphasis on benefits to the reader.
Date: Current date
To: Staff Members
From: Marcy Needham, Accounting
Subject: Travel Expense Claims
This is to inform you that here in Accounting we cannot process your travel expense claims unless you use the revised Travel Expense Claim form. This form is available on the company intranet.
If you have questions about what can be properly reimbursed, look at the revised Travel Expense Policy. This, too, is available on the company intranet. In fact, everyone should read the policy so that they don’t make mistakes about what is reimbursable. You should note that the mileage reimbursement amount has been changed. On personal vehicles it’s now 56.5 cents per mile.
Claims for reimbursement will not be approved unless they are submitted within 45 days of the transaction date. This is important to remember. Don’t wait too long to submit your claim. You are also reminded that you must secure the signature of your manager for any expense in excess of $200. We are here to serve!