If someone is communicating with you in an unacceptable way, be it face to face, over the phone or in written form, there are steps you can take to try and de-escalate the situation. The following tips aim to help you do this and should always be employed as a first step in the process of managing unacceptable behaviour. Face-to-face and/or verbal incidents

* Act as a role model for appropriate behaviour.

* Address the person directly and politely.

* Slow down the conversation and ask the person to repeat what they said.

* Give the person honest and constructive feedback, be specific.

* Ask them to stop behaving in an unacceptable manner and explain that if they don't you will remove yourself from the situation/end the phone call. * When an individual appears to be distraught, employing the following skills may help you to calm them 

Non-verbal listening skills

* Maintain eye contact.

* Keep your facial expression neutral.

* Ensure your body language is professional but open.

* Keep a level tone of voice.

* Talk at a steady pace, avoid rushing. Verbal listening skills

* Ask open, relevant questions.

* Paraphrase what they have said to show you are listening.

If the individual's unacceptable behaviour continues, repeat your request for them to stop and let them know you will take the matter further. If the situation is escalating face to face and you need assistance, find a colleague to support you as soon as possible. If you feel at all under threat, remove yourself from the situation immediately and put a distance between your- self and the individual involved. You must also consider calling the police if you believe the threat to you or others may be severe.

Questions

1. What do you think of the idea of a written set of guide- line on managing unacceptable behaviour? Would you recommend similar guidelines for universities?

2. In what ways can you relate this case study to your reading of perception and communication?

3. How well do you believe you could handle and de-escalate a challenging situation?