Describe a time when you acted as a toxin handler or went to a leader or colleague that played this role. Did you help this individual deal with her or his toxic emotions? Or did you receive adequate help? Which of the five pain reduction strategies was most important in this situation? Based on this experience, what skills are needed to absorb pain? What price do toxin handlers pay? Does (or did) your organization support this role?

The five pain reduction strategies

1. Listening. Compassionate leaders keep their office doors open, make time for visitors, and let others tell their stories. They are arm and empathetic, offering feedback and information. The person in pain feels heard and respected.

2. Suggesting solutions. Toxin handlers don't only listen, they solve problems.

3. Working behind the scenes to prevent pain. Toxin handlers work quietly within the organizational system to prevent additional toxic feelings.

4. Carrying the confidences of others. Toxin handlers don't betray the secrets of others but allow them to walk away feeling heard and supported.

5. Reframing difficult messages. Handlers act as diplomats and translators. They may take the anger out of a message from a boss, for instance, or act as a buffer, preventing followers from sending messages to the boss that might damage their careers.