One of the things that shapes our self-concept is other people. Sometimes these persons are significant persons in our lives and they nonverbally and/or verbally send us messages that we are valuable, loved, worthwhile, etc. or they may send messages that we are not worthy, not valued, not loved, etc. Ultimately these messages impact our self-esteem. These persons can be thought of as ego busters or ego boosters and they send us ego boosting and/or ego busting messages. However, significant persons are not the only people who can be ego busters or ego boosters, even strangers can pay us a compliment or say something mean and this may also impact our self-esteem.

Moreover, we can also be ego busters and ego boosters in other people's lives. You may say something mean and demeaning to your brother or give a compliment to your best friend about her new haircut.

Not only do other people act as ego busters and ego boosters in our lives, but we also act as ego busters and ego boosters in other people's lives. People send us messages about our self-worth, but we also send people messages about their self-worth. Others impact us, but we must also take responsibility that we impact others as well.

Reflect on a time when someone was an ego buster towards you. What did they say or do? Be specific. (1 mark)

Reflect on a time when someone was an ego booster towards you. What did they say or do?Be specific. (1 mark)

Reflect on a time when you were an ego buster to someone else. What did you do or say? Be specific. (1 mark)

Reflect on a time when you were an ego booster to someone else. What did you do or say? Be specific. (1 mark)

Question #2

Gemini was raised in a tightly knit community in a small city in a South Asian country. Where she grew up, everyone knew each other, spoke the same language and followed the same cultural customs and religious traditions. Her family lived in a nice house and were considered wealthy and privileged amongst her neighbours. Gemini was not allowed to go into the nearby neighbourhood where the "poor people" lived nor was she allowed to play with or even associated with the other children who lived there. She witnessed extreme poverty when she travelled through the city and various rural outskirts with her family but throughout her childhood she never experienced the inability to meet any of her needs. She went to a decent private school in walking distance from her home, had a her own tutor, a Nanny that took care of her while her parents worked and even had a woman come to the house to cook and clean for them 3 times a week. Gemini was cherished by her parents and extended family.

At the age of 19, it was decided that Gemini would study abroad in Canada. The agency her parents hired to find her an apartment in the city of Toronto located her in the city outskirts where she would share an apartment with other international students. When she arrived, the apartment was nothing like the pictures shown, it existed in a low income neighbourhood, her room was a small, the rent expensive, the shared kitchen was grimy and unkept, and her roommates were all from a neighbouring South Asian country that traditionally did not get along with people in her country due to political conflicts and religious discrimination. They accepted her as a roommate in their home, none the less, and even helped her get a job at the local Canadian Tire where a large number of the staff were also originally from that neighbouring country to which her roommates belonged. It took Gemini 1.5 hours to travel from her neighbourhood on the outskirts of the city to attend her classes at the college. Gemini felt like an alien in this new place where her native language was not spoken, she struggled to speak English, everything was SO expensive and her parents could not send her money because they spent so much of their savings on paying for her College Tuition fees. So she depended on her part time job at Canadian Tire to pay for her rent, food and transportation while she studied.

Gemini went from being in her home country, where she shared a strong identity with her community to being in this new neighbourhood where everyone and everything felt completely foreign. She found it very difficult to connect to others and find what she needs to navigate such a complicated place. Shortly after working at her job and living with her roommates, she began to notice she was being treated differently. She would notice food she bought missing from the fridge that no one would fess up to, she was not invited to go places with the rest of the roommates in the house, the shifts she requested at work to align with her course schedule at the college were not granted though others were given their first choices, the people at the local shops and out in public, in general, seemed unfriendly. People did not greet you in the street and if you smiled at them, they turned away. Overall she felt homesick and sad. Her parents were so happy for her and proud their daughter was studying at a prestigious college in Canada. She did not have the heart to tell them how she was really feeling and what she was going through.

As the days went by Gemini was feeling less and less interested in attending classes, looking for new people to meet and places to explore, and sometimes even getting out of bed in the morning was a big chore. She started the semester with enthusiasm but even then her grades started to slip and she even failed to submit some assignments at all. It got to the point where whole days would go by where Gemini would not leave her home at all and she stopped feeling motivated to even grocery shop and prepare food for herself. She felt guilty for failing in the studies her parents were paying so much money for. She started getting less shifts at her job. And even started avoiding calls from her family "back home".

Use the above case study, to answer the following questions:

What is a self-concept? Can it change? Discuss your impression of Gemini's self-concept, before and after she moved to Canada to study. (4 marks)

Imagine that you are a CDW, facilitating an International Student Support group at a local community services agency. How might you function as an, 'ego booster' for Gemini? Please discuss using at least three of the following terms: self-fulfilling prophecy, other imposed prophecy, self-imposed prophecy, self-esteem, cognitive conservatism and reflected appraisal. (6 marks)

Question #3

To enhance your empathy and to gain insight into someone else's perspective you can use a tool called the Pillow Method.

Reflect on a recent conflict/issue that you may have had with someone, where you were unable to see the other person's perspective. Explain how you would use the pillow method to view the issue from all five perspectives. Ensure that all five perspectives from the pillow method are included. (10 marks each; 2 marks for each perspective)

Question #4

Pick one debilitative feeling that leads to an irrational thought (aka a fallacy) that really resonates with you. Explore the impact on yourself (the impact of this fallacy) on your thinking and feeling

a. What are some of the irrational thoughts you may have?

b. What are the illogical conclusions that come from having these thoughts

c. What are the debilitative feelings? (6 Marks)

Question #5

The textbook talks about Guidelines for Expressing Emotions. What is one guideline that you plan to use? Give a specific example in your life that you will be applying the guideline to. Be detailed in your example. (4 marks)

Question #6

The textbook talks about Communication Misconceptions. Using two of the misconceptions that the textbook talks about, illustrate how in your own life you found yourself committing these communication misconceptions. Ensure that you use two separate misconceptions and use a specific example from your life to illustrate how you committed each misconception. Be detailed in your examples. (4 marks)

Question #7

Give an example of how the other-imposed prophecy may have impacted your life. Be detailed in your example. (4 marks)

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