You are my attorney and are going to defend me since the police caught me and the

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You are my attorney and are going to defend me since the police caught me and the judge wants to sentence me to 300 years in prison. I’ll tell you what they are saying, so please tell me what the legal issues are and whether I’m likely to be convicted and why. I just wanted to borrow my friend’s book without her knowing about it. Unfortunately, my car stopped working, so I ended up keeping the book. Before the car broke down, I was driving 60 in a 25 mile-per-hour zone because it was fun, and I thought I had a good car. The brakes failed, though, and I ran into Mao’s car, which then ran into the back of Badu’s car. Both Mao and Badu got hurt. Luckily, when the police arrived and questioned me, all four officers were talking to me, but they didn’t put me in handcuffs, so I ran away; I was doing drugs so not as scared as someone else might be. One officer then forced open the locked trunk of my car where she found my stolen machine guns. I found a farmer in his barn, so I carried him to his basement after threatening him and then punching him. I locked him inside the barn and then borrowed his car. I was still driving when I crashed it. An officer chased me into a neighbor’s house when I ran in the open back door. The officer stumbled over a bag of cocaine on the floor by a drain and saw my pistol lying a couple of feet from me. The officer took my pistol and the cocaine and then went through the whole house. The officer was so happy, since she figured she could arrest both me and the neighbor. The officer also found some stolen cash inside a locked bedroom. So, I am in a lot of trouble. Tell me what I have done wrong and what can I reply with when confronted with the consequences of my wild night.