Question: All of the following are first paragraphs in prospecting letters

All of the following are first paragraphs in prospecting letters written by new college graduates. Evaluate the paragraphs on these criteria:
■ Is the paragraph likely to interest readers and motivate them to read the rest of the letter?
■ Does the paragraph have some content that the student can use to create a transition to talking about his or her qualifications?
■ Does the paragraph avoid asking for a job?

1. For the past two and one-half years I have been studying turf management. On August 1, I will graduate from —— University with a BA in Ornamental Horticulture. The type of job I will seek will deal with golf course maintenance as an assistant superintendent.
2. Ann Gibbs suggested that I contact you.
3. Each year, the Christmas shopping rush makes more work for everyone at Nordstrom’s, especially for the Credit Department. While working for Nordstrom’s Credit Department for three Christmas and summer vacations, the Christmas sales increase is just one of the credit situations I became aware of.
4. Whether to plate a two-inch eyebolt with cadmium for a tough, brilliant shine or with zinc for a rust-resistant, less expensive finish is a tough question. But similar questions must be answered daily by your salespeople. With my experience in the electroplating industry, I can contribute greatly to your constant need of getting customers.
5. What a set of tractors! The new 9430 and 9630 diesels are just what is needed by today’s farmer with his ever-increasing acreage. John Deere has truly done it again.
6. Prudential Insurance Company did much to help my college career as the sponsor of my National Merit Scholarship. Now I think I can give something back to Prudential. I’d like to put my education, including a BS degree in finance from ——— University, to work in your investment department.
7. Since the beginning of Delta Electric Construction Co. in 1993, the size and profits have grown steadily. My father, being a stockholder and vice president, often discusses company dealings with me. Although the company has prospered, I understand there have been a few problems of mismanagement. I feel with my present and future qualifications, I could help ease these problems.

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  • CreatedMarch 12, 2014
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