read the case and answer the following questions:

Tracy and John had been married eight years and had two children together, Sarah, age six, and Matt, age 4. Tracy was attending law school in Tacoma and both children were enrolled in preschool there. John worked for the state in Olympia. The family lived in Tacoma. John and Tracy seemed like the idyllic parents of an idyllic family. Then Tracy left John for one of her law school professors and argued for custody of their two children. In addition to the shock of the pending divorce, and the potential loss of his children, John was in shock that the professor Tracy left him for was a woman.

Other Relevant Information

·During the marriage, Tracy was the primary child care provider.

·Tracy says that John was so busy with his work that he did not pay much attention to the children and their needs.

·John is a very proud man and feels his masculinity threatened as his wife leaves him for another woman.

·The children are confused by the break up of their family.

·John does not want the children to be exposed to the lesbian relationship of their mother. He believes that it is a passing phase and that although he and Tracy are not likely to reunite, the relationship Tracy has with Katie will not last.

·John asserts that he wants full custody of the children and that Tracy can only have visitation rights separate from Katie.

·Tracy asserts that she should have custody of the children because she has cared for them all along—her relational status has nothing to do with the raising of her children.

·Although she does not speak highly of John to other adults, she is not willing to disparage him in front of the children. She believes that the children should have continued contact with him because he is their father.

·Sarah and Matt have not expressed a preference of parent to their child care providers and seem to be handling the break up of their parents as well as could be expected.

This case could easily become destructive. Analyze the different possible approaches by answering the questions below:

1.List 5 possible threats that John or Tracy could make. Assume that each person would perceive the threat as negative, and that each person had the power to follow through on his or her threat. Then create a non-abusive statement that addresses the main concern. For example:

John

Threat: “If you ask for and win full custody, I will take the children and leave the state and you will never see them again.” (Assume John has the power to follow through on this threat.)

Non-abusive: “We need to work out a plan in the best interest for the children. I’m not entirely comfortable with the children staying with you and this woman that I don’t know, but I want to do what is best for Sarah and Matt. I think we should discuss what is best for them with a child psychologist.”

2.In their book Interpersonal Conflict, Wilmot and Hocker (2007) describe five tactics in handling conflict, listed below.

Assume that John and Tracy are in dialogue. John has just made the following statement: We need to work out a plan in the best interest for the children. I’m not entirely comfortable with the children staying with you and this woman that I don’t know, but I want to do what is best for Sarah and Matt. I think we should discuss what is best for them with a child psychologist.”

a)How might Tracy answer if she was using avoidance tactics (denying the conflict, changing the topic of conversation, etc.)?

b)How might Tracy answer if she was using competitive tactics (trying to gain power)?

c)How might Tracy answer if she was using compromising tactics (moderately assertive and cooperative)?

d)How might Tracy answer if she was using collaborating tactics (concerned with the needs of both sides)?

e)How might Tracy answer if she was using accommodating tactics (setting aside her needs and trying to harmonize)?

Answer rating: 100% (QA)

1 1John If you dont let me see the children Ill take you to court Nonabusive Im sorry that you feel like you need to take me to court in order to see ... View the full answer