Evaluate the following drafts. What parts should be omitted? What needs to be changed or added? What parts would benefit from specific supporting details?
1.
Dear____:
There is more to a buyer’s job than buying the merchandise. And a clothing buyer in particular has much to consider.
Even though something may be in style, customers may not want to buy it. Buyers should therefore be aware of what customers want and how much they are willing to pay.
In the buying field, request letters, thank-you letters, and persuasive letters are frequently written.
My interest in the retail field inspired me to read The Gap’s annual report. I saw that a new store is being built. An interview would give us a chance to discuss how I could contribute to this new store. Please call me to schedule an interview.
Sincerely,
2.
Dear Sir or Madam:
I am taking the direct approach of a personnel letter. I believe you will understand my true value in the areas of practical knowledge and promotional capabilities.
I am interested in a staff position with Darden in relation to trying to improve the operations and moral of the Olive Garden Restaurants, which I think that I am capable of doing.
Please take a minute not to read my résumé (enclosed) and call to schedule an interview.
Sincerely
3.
Dear____:
I would like to apply for the opening you announced for an Assistant Golf Course Superintendent. I have the qualifications you are asking for.
Every year the Superintendent must go before the greens committee to defend its budget requests. To prepare myself to do this, I took courses in accounting, business and administrative writing, and speech.
I have done the operations necessary to maintain the greens properly.
I look forward to talking with you about this position.
Sincerely,