Thomas MassariHigh schoolers have a propensity for lying, but none of us consider ourselves pathological liars. You know, you just lie a couple of times, when it’s necessary. Well, now we’re going to find out how dishonest you really were. Read these common questions and scenarios and tally how many times you would have lied. At the end of the questionnaire, there will be a character description, based on the number of times you lied:
Have you been working out?
You’ve made the number to your friends that you’ve been feeling self-conscious about the extra McDonalds pounds you’ve been putting on. Who weighs 140 pounds in high school? But, your shame for putting on the pounds does not match your apathy for working out.
Challenge: Would you lie about your weight?
YES: I would lie about this.
NO: I would tell the truth.
Why didn’t you answer my call last night?
You heard the phone ring, but that American Vandal episode was far too gripping for you to worry about your friend’s banal relationship problems. A bead of sweat forms on your brow as you scramble to find a suitable excuse. Is lying making you an even worse friend than ignoring a phone call?
Challenge: Would you lie to your friend about why you missed their phone call?
YES: I would lie about this.
NO: I would tell the truth.
Did you get fired from that job?
Your friends have had to hear you brag all about your cushy job where you just sit in the back, mess around, and collect free money for your car. But, your lax attitude is also what led you to be fired. How embarrassing would it be for your friends to know that you were fired after you did all that bragging?
Challenge: Would you lie to your friends about getting fired?
YES: I would lie about this.
NO: I would tell the truth.
How’d you do on that test last week?
You have one of those overbearing moms that need to know every test score and piece of intellectual data about your school adventures, so she can know when to schedule the tour of Stanford. But, how would she react if you told her you failed because you were too busy playing Call of Duty to study?
Challenge: Would you lie to your mother about failing a test?
YES: I would lie about this.
NO: I would tell the truth.
Are you with anyone?
The bane of a high schooler’s existence is loneliness. You do not want to have the reputation of the weird kid that is forever alone. But, just because you aren’t dating anyone at the school doesn’t mean you cannot date someone outside of it. Is a fictional mate the way to go?
Challenge: Would you lie about your relationship status?
YES: I would lie about this.
NO: I would tell the truth.
Didn’t you wear that shirt yesterday?
You stand in the gymnasium, bored, waiting for homeroom bell, in your own world with one headphone hanging out when on the most popular girls in school comes up to you with a sour face. She points down at your chest. “Didn’t you wear that shirt yesterday?” It isn’t until now that you realized you put your shirt back in the closet instead of the laundry pile.
Challenge: Would you lie about wearing the same shirt two days in a row?
YES: I would lie about this.
NO: I would tell the truth.
Did you do anything this weekend?
Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were blissful you spent the whole time in your pajamas, in your room, hiding from the awkward social situations you are plagued with all week. But, that bliss evaporates as your friend questions you about your “Busy weekend” that is the mark of every cool kid’s schedule.
Challenge: Would you lie about having an eventful weekend?
YES: I would lie about this.
NO: I would tell the truth.
That teacher is the worst, right?
“She always is failin’ me, callin’ me out over stupid crap. I hate him. Man, tell me you’re with me?” This is a huge moment for high schoolers everywhere. Are you with it, raging against the machine? Or, has the machine not affected you because you secured a high grade in that class?
Challenge: Would you lie to your friend about hating the teacher, too?
YES: I would lie about this.
NO: I would tell the truth.
Did you miss me?
“Oh my god, it’s been a long time.” Two arms suffocate your body from behind as you try to identify the voice. Who on Earth is this? Once the anaconda grip is released and you turn around to greet your long time no see, you are even more confused. Okay, WHO ON EARTH ARE YOU?
Challenge: Would you lie about remembering this stranger?
YES: I would lie about this.
NO: I would tell the truth.
Are you friends with that weird kid?
It never seemed fair to you that the weird, place kid that sticks his fingers in his butt always had to sit alone. Little did you know that extending the hand of friendship to the kid would put you in an awkward social standing. “You can’t be friends with him. He’s so weird. Do you know how people are going to treat you if you’re friends with him?”
Challenge: Would you lie about being friends with the outcast?
YES: I would lie about this.
NO: I would tell the truth.
Did you steal my gym clothes from my locker?
You sit at your cafeteria table, munching on some Cheese-It’s when a fist strikes your table so fast and hard that your juice falls and spills all over the place. You look up to see the captain of the football team with veins popping out of his forehead. Horror strikes as you know exactly what he wants. “Where are my gym clothes, you twerp?!”
Challenge: Would you lie about stealing the jock’s gym clothes?
YES: I would lie about this.
NO: I would tell the truth.
Have you been talking about me behind my back?
Your words, even the ones that you let slip flippantly, have consequences. Those consequences have come back around to you, as the person you called some unsavory things stands before you, tears welling up in their eyes. “Is what they said you said true.
Is that what you really think about me?”
Challenge: Would you lie about saying rude things behind this person’s back?
YES: I would lie about this.
NO: I would tell the truth.
Did you brush your teeth this morning?
It’s not hard to be forgetful as a high school student. It happens. You’re always so busy, it can be easy to forget something simple. There’s no shame in this game. But, that shame may come to pass when you speak to your crush, and their face goes sour. “I’m sorry, but did you brush your teeth this morning?”
Challenge: Would you lie about forgetting to brush your teeth?
YES: I would lie about this.
NO: I would tell the truth.
You gonna go out with them again?
Boring dates are just a part of the game. Sometimes, the chemistry just isn’t there. But, when someone just got out of a nasty breakup, they are sure hoping the chemistry is there, so they can shake off the stink of the last relationship. Their friends are hoping for the same thing, which is why the best friend of the girl you went out with last night has come up to you, asking if you are going to go out again. Do you let her know you think her best friend is painfully boring?
Challenge: Would you lie about wanting to go out with somebody again?
YES: I would lie about this.
NO: I would tell the truth.
You’re still a virgin?
All of your friends are going around the table, talking about their sexual conquests in the most degrading, uncomfortable way possible. You think as long as you shrink down, eat your sandwich, and just say nothing – “So, what about you?” Uh-oh. Your face grows red with embarrassment as all of your friends realize that you haven’t slept with anyone one. “No way, you’re still a virgin?”
Challenge: Would you lie about being a virgin?
YES: I would lie about this.
NO: I would tell the truth.
That’s the end of the questionnaire. Go back through, tally how many times you lied, and find your corresponding personality profile.
0 LIES – The Saintly Samaritan
1 – 3 LIES – Socially Conservative
4 – 6 LIES – The Harmless Fibber
7 – 10 LIES – A Potential Cat-fisher in the Making
11 – 14 LIES – Pathological Liar
15 LIES – The Devil Reincarnated
Rabia Kanwal
