The following claim letter delivers a passionate but largely ineffectual complaint. Its insulting tone does little to persuade the receiver to meet the writer’s demands. Can you administer a radical rewrite that might make the request more successful?

 

Your Task. 

Analyze this poorly written claim letter, and list at least five weaknesses. If your instructor directs, revise it.

Transcribed Image Text:

Current date Mr. Lance Lazarovich Duplicating Systems 5409 Fondren Road Houston, TX 77807 Dear Ripoff Specialists: Let me lay the facts on the line. Sadly, my company recently purchased four of your Color Laser Jet Pro TFP500 photocopiers, which seemed logical at the time. They promised out-of-the-box networked printing, 2-sided copies, fax, and color scanning. This was perfect for my growing engineering firm. Your sales lady Taylor Noack assured us that the TFP500 could handle our high volume of 3,000 copies a day. This sounded unlikely since the sales brochure suggested that the TFP500 was meant for 500 copies a day. Regardless, we listened to what Ms. Noack told us. Unfortunately, that was a big mistake. Our four TFP500 copiers are down every day, and my employees are screaming at me to do something. Because these machines are still under warranty, they do eventually get repaired. However, we can't deal with so much downtime. After losing faith in your Ms. Noack, I called the district manager, Christopher Lopez. I suggested that we trade in our four TFP500 copiers (which cost $2,300 each) for two TFP1000 models (at $12,500 each). However, Mr. Lopez said he would have to charge 50 percent depreciation on our TFP500 copiers. That's a colossal rip-off! Any reasonable person would think that 20 percent depreciation is more sensible because we've had the machines only three months. Ms. Noack said she would get back to me, but I haven't heard from her since. Now I'm forced to write to your headquarters because I have had no luck with either Ms. Noack or Mr. Lopez, and I need to see some action on these machines. If you understood anything about business, you would see what a sweet deal I'm offering. I'm willing to stick with your company and purchase your most expensive model-but I can't take such a steep loss on the TFP500 copiers. These copiers are relatively new; you should be able to sell them with no trouble. And think of all the money you will save by not having your repair technicians making constant trips to service our underpowered TFP500 copiers! Please respond immediately, or I may be forced to engage our attorney. Sincerely yours,