$6\mathrm{.}1$ Radical Rewrite: Information Request Letter? Workstation Security $($L$\mathrm{.}0\mathrm{.}2)$

The following letter requests information, but its disorderly and illogical presentation makes the reader work too hard to comprehend what is being requested. Based on what you have learned in this chapter, what needs to be done to rewrite this poor request?

YOUR TASK. Analyze the letter and list its weaknesses. Then list the steps in the writing plan for a direct request. If your instructor directs, revise the letter following that plan.

Current date

Mr$.$ Kyle Gregory, Sales Manager

Micro Supplies and Software

$830$ North Meridian Street

Indianapolis, IN $46205$

Dear Sir:

Our insurance rates will be increased in the near future due to the fact that we don't have security devices on our computer equipment. Local suppliers were considered, but at this point in time none had exactly what we wanted. That's why I am writing to see whether or not you can provide information and recommendations regarding equipment to prevent the possible theft of office computers and printers. In view of the fact that our insurance carrier has set a deadline of April $1,$ we need fast action.

Our office now has $18$ computer workstations along with twelve printers. We need a device that can be used to secure separate computer components to desks or counters. Would you please recommend a device that can secure a workstation consisting of a computer, monitor, and keyboard. We wonder if professionals are needed to install your security devices and to remove them. We are a small company, and we don't have a staff of maintenance people.