6.

i.The following sentences are discourteous, boastful, excessively humble, vague, or lacking the "you attitude." Rewrite them to correct those mistakes. a. Something is obviously wrong in your head office. They have once more sent me the wrong model number. Can they ever get things straight?

b. My instructor wants me to do a term paper on safety regulations at a small plant. Since you are the manager of a small plant, send me all the information I need at once. My grade depends heavily on all this. c. It is apparent that you are in business to rip off the public.

d. I was wondering if you could possibly see your way into sending me the local chap- ter president's name and addressif you have the time, that is.

e. I have waited for my confirmation for two weeks now. Do you expect me to wait forever, or can I get some action?

ii.The following letter, filled with musty expressions and in old-fashioned language (legal- ese), buries key ideas. Rewrite and reorganize it to make it shorter, clearer, and more

reader-centered. Dear Ms. Granedi:

This is in response to your firm's letter of recent date inquiring about the types of ad- ditional services that may be available to business customers of the First National Bank of

Bentonville. The question of a possible time frame for the implementation of said services

was also raised in the aforementioned letter. Pursuant to these queries, the following an- swers, this office trusts, will prove helpful.

Please be advised that the Board of Directors at First National Bank has a continuing repu- tation for servicing the needs of the Bentonville community, especially the business com- munity. For the last fifty yearshalf of a centuryFirst National Bank has provided the

funds necessary for the growth, success, and expansion of many local firms, yours included.

This financial support has bestowed many opportunities on a multitude of business own- ers, residents of Bentonville, and even residents of surrounding local communities.

The Board is at this present writing currently deliberating, with its characteristic caution,

over a variety of options suggested to us by our patrons, including your firm. These op- tions, if the Board decides to act upon them, would enhance the business opportunities for

financial transactions at First National Bank. Among the two options receiving attention by the Board at this point in time are the creation of a branch office in the rapidly growing north side of Bentonville. This area has many customers who rely on the services of First National Bank. The Board may also place a business loan department in the new branch.

If this office of the First National Bank of Bentonville might be of further helpful as- sistance, please advise. Remember, banking with First National Bank is a community

privilege. Soundly yours, M. T. Watkins Public Relations Director