(A @ D] e Use precise words instead of vague ones. e Express your ideas in as few words as possible. e When writing a response, use formal language instead of slang. HiSET EXAM TIP When you read your draft, focus on the specific words and ask yourself, \"Can | make this clearer or maore concise?\" If so, revise accordingly to improve your score on the response. Word Choice After you have written and revised your response, you will need to edit it. In the editing stage of the writing process, you check for correct grammar, usage, and word choice. You may already have made some organizational changes. The kinds of changes you make when you are editing will be smallermore like fine-tuning. Word choice is an important aspect of writing. There are several aspects of word choice to look at when you are editing: using precise words, avoiding wordiness, and avoiding slang. People often use vague terms when they are speaking. They say things like, \"It was a great party!\" or \"The weather is nice today.\" General words like great and nice are okay in conversation because the listener can ask questions such as, \"What was so great about the party?\" In writing, however, you should try to write specific words that create a clear picture for the reader. With vague words: Tim took a long hike in the beautiful mountains. With precise words: Tim took a 12-mile hike in the rocky, snowy mountains. With vague words: He walked through a forest where the ground was covered with pine needles. With precise words: He meandered through a forest where the ground was carpeted with pine needles. It's also helpful to your reader if you write concisely and avoid wordiness. Being brief helps the reader focus on your message. If you notice that you have said the same thing twice, cut out the extra words. Too wordy: Tim's dream and the thing he hopes for most of all is to make a home for himself and live in a cabin in the woods. More concise: Tim's most cherished dream is to live in a cabin in the woods. Too wordy: The only thing getting in the way of his having this dream come true is that his wife isn't so sure that it's such a fantastic idea. More concise: The only obstacle to realizing his dream is his wife's resistance. Finally, avoid using slang when writing your essay. Though people sometimes use informal language when speaking, essay writing calls for more formal language. Take care to express yourself appropriately. With slang: Tim is going to hit the road at seven tonight. With more formal language: Tim is going to leave town at seven tonight. With slang: He needs a better map because he's totally clueless about directions. With more formal language: He needs a better map because he has difficulty understanding directions. A. Directions: Replace each of the underlined words or phrases with more appropriate language. Write your answers on a separate sheet of paper. 1. Families International is a nonprofit organization that does not make any money. 2. We give aid to many children in the Third World every year. 3. These children must endure lousy living conditions. 4. Your donation, even if it is only five bucks, will help a child get food and clothing. 5. Please send your donation as soon and as quickly as possible to the following address. B. Directions: Edit the paragraphs below for correct grammar and usage, paying special attention to nouns and pronouns, subject-verb agreement, and regular and irregular verbs. If you ever order merchandise from a catalog, you should be aware of your rights. All companies, regardless of what state they are located in, is required to ship your order within 30 days unless they have advertise a different shipping time. If a company is unable to meet the shipping deadline, they must send you an \"Option Notice.\" You can choose to wait longer or get a refund. Some consumers complaining about receiving merchandise that they did not order. They were told that companies that engaged in this practice broken the law. If they send you a product you haven't order, it is yours to keep. If you receive a package that been damaged, don't open it. Write \"REFUSED\" on the pack- age, and return it to the seller. There's no need to add new postage as long as the package come by regular mail. e English has many words that express approximately the same idea. e Choose the word that most precisely conveys the quality or characteristic of a thing or action. e Choose the word that most accurately communicates the extent or degree of a thing or action. When asked to revise a pas- sage, pay careful attention to clues that tell you exactly what idea the author intends to communicate. Doing so will help you select the best word or phrase among the answer chaices. Words with Similar Meanings To express your ideas clearly, it is important to use the word that means precisely the type or extent of the idea you wish to communicate. Knowing the shades of meaning of different words also helps you understand exactly what other people are saying (see Lesson 7: Word Choice in the Reading unit on page 86). Here is a group of words that all mean \"very happy: bliss ultimate, serene happiness ecstasy extreme, even frenzied joy elation very happy with pride or optimism euphoria strong, even disproportionate sense of well-being and confidence rapture intense, love-filled joy Note, for example, that bliss is happiness accompanied by a sense of calm, while ecstasy is happiness along with great excitement. EXAMPLES 1. Richard had studied very hard for the test, so when he found out that he had scored well, he felt elated. Richard worked hard to achieve this excellent result, so to communicate the pride Richard feels, the writer chooses the word elated. 2. Some medications used to treat allergies can produce a feeling of euphoria in patients, causing them to make poor decisions. The writer uses the word euphoria because people who take these medicines can feel extremely confident, as though nothing can hurt them. 3. When Stacy found out that she was finally pregnant, she felt rapture and began to think about names for a boy or a girl. Stacy's happiness concerns love for her future child, so the author has cho- sen the word rapture to communicate Stacy's emotional state. Writers also select words to communicate the degree of something. The fol- lowing words could all be used to describe a \"small\" house: modest not lavish or impressive cramped not having as much room as one needs diminutive much smaller than normal miniature so small as to be a model of the real thing Most people would probably enjoy living in a modest home, even if they would prefer a larger one, but a miniature house would be one that children would play in or even a dollhouse. Here are some examples using words that mean \"to disagree.\" EXAMPLES 4. The two politicians held opposite views, so they clashed repeatedly during debates. To clash means \"to argue or fight,\" and the writer uses this word to indicate how strongly these politicians disagreed with each other. 5. Marcos wanted to stay on good terms with his manager, so when his manager made outrageous demands, he only occasionally demurred. Here the writer chooses the word demurred (\"politely disagreed\") to fit the relationship Marcos was trying to maintain with his boss. A. Directions: For each sentence, choose the word that better fits the context. = . The comedian was extremely funny, and the audi- ence (chuckled /roared) after every joke. 2. Tyler's aunt knitted him a (red/crimson) sweater that was unique in style and color. 3. When the student answered a question correctly, the tutor would then ask a more difficult one, making the student feel (uncomfortable/miser- able). W . Xiu was proud of her promotion at work, and she (strode/shuffled) through the hallways with a smile on her face. w . Kelsey (asked/interrogated) her five-year-old son about whether he had said thank you for the gift. B. Questions 6 through 8 refer to the following passage. (1) The children could not believe their good fortune. (2) The snow had fallen steadily all night, and now it lay in huge piles around the house and blockaded the driveway. (3) \"No school!\" they shouted. (4) Their parents were less agitated and looked at each other across the breakfast table with anxious expressions, wondering which of them would have to stay at home with the children. (5) \"If I call in sick to work again,\" their father said, \"my boss will be angry.\" (6) Their mother said, \"But I'm supposed to give an important sales presentation today. My com- pany is counting on me.\" (7) Bella, the oldest, overheard her parents talking and had an idea. (8) \"Why don't we ask our neighbor if we can stay with her?\" she asked. (9) \"Mrs. Alvarez has trouble shoveling her sidewalk, so we can do that for her in exchange.\" (10) \"That's a wonderful idea, Bella!\" her mother exclaimed. (11) Her father added, \"Our daughter certainly is 4 6. Sentence 2: Which of the following is the best revision? A. (No change) B. Change \"steadily\" to \"smoothly\" C. Change \"huge\" to \"monstrous\" D. Change \"blockaded\" to \"blocked\" 7. Sentence 4: Which of the following is the best revision? A. (No change) B. Change \"agitated\" to \"excited\" C. Change \"anxious\" to \"tormented\" D. Change \"stay\" to \"reside\" 8. Sentence 11: Which of the following is the best word for the blank? A. intelligent B. enlightened C. imaginative D. perceptive Review your work using the explanations that start on page 727. KEY IDEAS e Referring to trustworthy sources makes a written piece more credible. e Including bibliographic infor- mation is important to avoid plagiarism and to help read- ers locate and assess the sources. e Regardless of the format used, references should pro- vide the reader with enough information to identify the source. HIiSET EXAM TIP A passage that does not cite specific sources of information can be strengthened by adding references, and a passage that provides incomplete biblio- graphic information can be strengthened by giving more details about its sources. 178 KAPLAN) Using Reference Sources Simply stating that something is true will not necessarily convince read- ers that it is true. Informative writing is most credible when the author supports ideas and opinions with specific references to other sources. It is important to cite sources that readers regard as trustworthy. In addition, writers include bibliographic information about their sources for the following reasons: e It helps readers evaluate the accuracy of the source. e It allows readers to find the source themselves if they want to read more about the topic. o [t gives credit to the people from whom the writer got the idea. Pre- senting facts or opinions as one's own when they were actually dis- covered or conceived of by someone else is plagiarism. Citing sources may be done informally, as in a news article or essay, or for- mally, as in an academic research paper. There are several widely accepted formats for formal references, such as the Chicago Manual of Style. A teacher or publication may ask writers to use a certain format. In any format, when a source is quoted, that text is placed inside quotation marks. In general, the author should provide the reader with the author(s) and title of the book, article, video, etc., as well as the date of publication or copy- right. If the work is an article in a newspaper, magazine, academic journal, or bound collection, then the title of that publication is also given. If the source is online, a website address is often given. Bibliographic information may be provided entirely within the text, a com- mon approach in less formal writing. More formally, brief citations are provided within the text that allow the reader to cross-reference a list of sources with full information, or the information is provided in footnotes at the bottom of the page or endnotes at the end of the chapter or article. EXAMPLES Weak: Everyone knows that getting enough sleep is important, and now science says so, too. Strong (less formal): An article in the January 11, 2014, New York Tines by Maria Konnikova describes scientific research that shows getting enough sleep is important. Strong (more formal): As reported in the New York Times (Konnikova, 2014), the journal Science published in its October 2013 issue the results of several studies, conducted by a team under Maiken Nedergaard, that show getting enough sleep is important. REFERENCE LIST Konnikova, M. (2014, January 11). Goodnight. Sleep clean. The New York Times. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/12/opinion/ sunday/goodnight-sleep-clean.html Facts that are widely documented as true (e.g., Barack Obama became pres- ident on January 20, 2009) and ideas not attributable to a particular person or group (e.g., exercise is important to health) do not need references. HiSET Language Arts: Writing Using Grammar Correctly There are several main theories of international relations. One school of thought is realism, which emphasizes the independence of sover- eign states and their desire for power needed to maintain that independence. Realists, there- fore, see forceespecially military forceas the primary factor that determines how nations interact. 1. The author would like to provide support for the ideas in this paragraph. Which of the following would be the best source of this support? A. A widely used college textbook on inter- national relations B. An online encyclopedia open to contri- butions by the public C. An article in a national news magazine about conflict in the Middle East D. A university library's web page about realism in literature The mastiff is a breed of massive, muscular dog that is popular in the United States. The breed originated in England two thousand years ago, where it was bred as a watchdog and dog of war. The Roman leader Julius Caesar men- tioned the courage of mastiffs in his account of his invasion of England. According to the American Kennel Club, the mastiff is coura- geous and dignified, but good-natured and docile. 2. If the description of the mastiff attributed to the American Kennel Club is taken word for word from that organization's website, what is the best revision of the underlined sentence? A. (No change) B. \"The mastiff is courageous and dignified, but good-natured and docile.\" C. According to the website of the American Kennel Club (akc.org/dog- breeds/mastiff/, accessed December 29, 2015), the mastiff is \"courageous and dignified, but good-natured and docile.\" D. Experts on the breed say the mastiff is brave and inspires respect, but friendly and easy to train. Renovation can add significant value to your home. Many people assume that kitchen and bathroom remodels have the best return on investment. However, you should consider remodeling your basement. 3. The author plans to add a sentence at the end of this paragraph. Which of the follow- ing would most strengthen the passage? A. According to REALTOR Magazine's 2015 \"Cost vs. Value Report,\" renovated base- ments add more value to homes than do updated kitchens and bathrooms. B. According to contractors who specialize in basements, renovated basements add more value to homes than do updated kitchens and bathrooms. C. I remodeled my basement, and I saw a 20 percent gain in my home's value. D. The Wall Street Journal has reported that remodeled kitchens and bathrooms have a lower return on investment than do renovated basements. \"Despite the growing demand for organic food products, many U.S. farmers are reluctant to switch to organic production methods.\"! 4. The author found this information in a gov- ernment report. Which of the following would be the best footnote 1? A. U.S. Department of Agriculture (Washington, D.C.), Marketing U.S. Organic Foods: Recent Trends from Farms to Consumers, 2009, 11. B. Carolyn Dimitri and Lydia Oberholtzer, report for the U.S. Department of Agriculture, Washington, D.C,, titled Marketing U.S. Organic Foods: Recent Trends from Farms to Consumers, 11. C. Retrieved from the U.S. Department of Agriculture website at http://www.ers. usda.gov/media/185272/eib58_1_.pdf. D. Carolyn Dimitri and Lydia Oberholtzer, Marketing U.S. Organic Foods: Recent Trends from Farms to Consuiers (Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Agriculture, 2009), 11