As you edit/write the below think about being concise and making the point... You are trying to persuade...

Open ONE of the below examples of poorly written letters.

Weak Persuasive Email to Management

Analyze the following weak persuasive memo flowing upward. Revise, to make it more focused, (including the subject) add the date, your name and email. Then delete these instructions and submit to Canvas.

Worldclass Trainer, Inc.M E M O R A N D U M

DATE: Current

TO:Bryanna Mazzetta, Vice President, Marketing

FROM: Your Name, Exhibit Manager

SUBJECT: Possible Change for Saving Money

We always try our best to meet customers and sell Worldclass Trainer equipment at numerous trade shows. But instead of expanding our visits to these trade shows, the company continues to cut back the number that we attend. And we have fewer staff members attending. I know that you have been asking us to find ways to reduce costs, but I dont think we are going about it right.

With increased airfares and hotel charges, my staff has tried to find ways to live within our very tight budget. Yet, we are being asked to find other ways to reduce our costs. Im currently thinking ahead to the big Las Vegas trade show coming up in September.

One area where we could make a change is in the gift that we give away. In the past we have presented booth visitors with a nine-color T-shirt that is silk-screened and gorgeous. But it comes at a cost of $23 for each and every one of these beauties from a top-name designer. To save money, I suggest that we try a $6 T-shirt made in China, which is reasonably presentable. Its got our name on it, and, after all, folks just use these shirts for workouts. Who cares if it is a fancy silk-screened T-shirt or a functional Chinese one that has Worldclass Trainer plastered on the chest? Because we give away 2,000 T-shirts at our largest show, we could save big bucks by dumping the designer shirt. But we have to act quickly. Ive enclosed a cheap one for you to see.

Let me know what you think. Yours