COMM$1106$: REVSE ADOCUMENTFOR READER ACCESS, EFFECTIVE STYE, ANDTONE $(5\%)$

Instructions

You are the Executive Assistant to Bryan N$.$ who owns Westcaast Janitorial services, located in the Lower Mainland.

He is worried about employee turnover. The average employee only stays about seven months; with a requirement

for $20$ staff, he has had to hire and train $90$ people every year. At a cost of $$1,500$ per hire, that is $$135,000$ per year.

Bryan wants to stop the perception that being a janitor is a dead$-$end job.

What if he were to pay his employees' way through college, if their interested. Can he retain more employees? He

has decided to give educational incentives a try. Because Bryan was so excited to get going on the project, you took

an old Word doc from some other purpose and quickly drafted the letter over it$.$ But when you read the document, you

realize it needs a lot of revising before you are going to show it to Bryan for his approval and signature.

Revise the following excerpt from the letter to all employees about the educational incentives. You do not need to

write the entire letter, with address blocks: just re$-$write this one part. This excerpt has problems with recognizing the

appropriate audience, organization, paragraphing $($think about using heading and lists$).$ As well as with style $($it$\text{'}$s too

wordy and unclear$),$ tone $($lack of consideration for the audience; professionalism$),$ and of course numerous grammar

issues that you will need correct in your rewrite.

Hey, cleaning floors dont have to be a deadend job. The new educational programs is open to

all employees no matter how long they worked for Westcoast. Janitorial services. Beginning in

January $2020,$ you could take advantage of the really rad new education program for all

employees. If you take advantage of the program, it will reduce our turnover which has been a

chronic and ongoing problem with company. So$,$ you are earning free college tuition. And

maybe books. The program will allow you to receive free books and tuition to the British

Columbia Institute of Technology. There are rules about how many courses you get depending

upon how much you work, and you can't compete for shifts just to get more free college credits.

So$,$ no erasing someone else from the schedule on the bulletin board, please! Everyone who

works at least $10$ hours a week is eligible. If you work $26$ to $40$ hours@week, then you take $3$

courses, $25-16$ hours, two courses, ten$-15$ per week, one free course and if you work less than

ten hours a week, you get zero course. Which is fair. The program is open to all employees,

regardless of how long you've worked at Westcoast Janitorial services, so if you worked at the

old location on Kingsway even. Those who participate will continue to earn your usual salace for

the time you work. We mean, you won't be paid while at class. But, the salary is the same. All

participants are encouraged to do their best in their courses, but salaries won't be affected by

grades that you would get in the courses. Although we want to hear about success and relevant

learning. l$\text{'}$ll be happy to answer any questions you might have about how working with us can

help you earn free college tuition just ask me$.$ Stop by the head office at the end of your shift or

before your shift to sign up OR get your questions answered. You dont have to go to college,

but it would sure help us so that we know we are doing our best to retain and educate

employees or reduce our high turnover that costs us $60000$ per annum.