Example Question O. The conference will offer special excursions for the wives of executives. (problem is bias: the sentence assumes executives are male, and married to female spouses; what if executives are female, or are in same-sex relationship?) Example Answer: 1 0. The conference will offer special excursions for the spouses of executives, (better: language is more inclusive now, executives and spouses may be male or female) 1. Rewrite to show Audience Benefit and "You" View: We have prepared the enclosed form that customers may use to create a new account. 2. Rewrite to show Audience Benefit and "You" View. We need you to go to our website and fill out the customer information to help us process the order. 3. Rewrite to make the tone conversational yet professional (general language): Pertaining to your request, the above-referenced items (printer toner and supplies) are being sent to your Oakdale office, as per your telephone conversation of April 1. 4. Rewrite to make the tone conversational yet professional (general language): It's totally awesome that we're gonna snag the contract, dude. 5. Rewrite to make the tone conversational yet professional (general language): We are offering a pay package that is commensurate with other managers' remuneration. 6. Rewrite the statement to make it more positive: If you do not fill in all of the blanks in the application form, we cannot issue a password. 7. Rewrite the statement to make it more positive: It is impossible for the builder to pour the concrete until the soil is no longer soggy. 8. Rewrite the sentence to use bias free language (make it more inclusive): Does each salesman have his own smartphone loaded with his special sales information? 9. Rewrite the sentence to use bias free language (make it more inclusive): Serving on the panel are a lady vetrinarian, an Indian CPA, two businessmen, and a female doctor. 10. Rewrite the sentence to remove the unnecessary introduction and fillers (make it as short as possible! We are writing to you in order to inform you of the fact that your order will actually arrive on June 1st