for the next two draft essays I have to comment on each one following th next instructions; In your replies to your peers, you should answer the following evaluation questions. Yes, your replies will be very long as you will be answering a few questions.

For the TEEAS body paragraph(s):

1. Topic sentences: Does the topic sentence state aspecific, focused on one idea, point? Is the logic of problem or solution clear in the topic sentence?
2. Explanations: Do the explanations clarify thespecificwhatand thewhyorhow of the topic sentence idea? Or does it go off-topic, seeming to talk about more than one idea? Why or why not?Red flags: Addition words "and," "furthermore," "also," "another," etc. Overly long explanations can also be problematic. Make sure you are only reading one specific response idea. RULE OF ONE! :)
3. Evidence:Does the evidence come from outside credible research? Doesthe evidence offer clear proof of the point?Is there enough detail in the evidence to clearly prove the point? Why or why not?
4. Analysis:Does the analysis specifically discuss how/why evidence proves their point? Do you see language from the evidence and point that show the connection? Why or why not?
5. Sum Up Sentence:Does the paragraph end with anorganicsumming up sentence? Is it a super sentence, using stronger adjectives, verbs to capture the point of the whole paragraph? Why or why not?

here are the two drafts; 1- Introduction and TEEAS body paragraph:

Imagine trying to excel in college, only to be faced with a relentless amount of challenges that can be overwhelming and ultimately push one to their breaking point. How can anyone succeed under such immense pressure? The idea of college success and the challenges that stand in the way of achieving it is explained in Dr. Tanjula Petty's article, "Motivating First-Generation Students to Academic Success and College Completion." In the article, she explains the many struggles that first-generation college students encounter that make it hard for them to finish their education and eventually drop out. She mentions the environmental and psychological barriers that play a part in the student's success. She addresses the idea of motivation by referring to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and McClelland's Need for Achievement and how it helps in student persistence and perseverance. She refers to intrinsic motivation, which relies on personal growth, while extrinsic motivation relies on external factors. The article also mentions how colleges and universities can play an important role in supporting first-generation students by offering them bridge programs, mentorship, and social connections. Research on college student success reveals major obstacles, yet it also highlights effective solutions. Two significant challenges that college students face are mental health issues and financial struggles, but seeking support and finding a job with flexible work schedules can serve as effective solutions to these obstacles.

One challenge that college students deal with is mental health issues. What this means is that many college students deal with depression or anxiety, which can affect their academic performance. Depression and anxiety can both take a toll on how someone lives their life by making them feel sad, helpless, lose interest in school activities, worry, and stress. This is a problem because it can be hard for a student to be motivated in their school work, which can prevent them from attending classes, getting behind on assignments, and ultimately failing their classes. In the article, "The Mental Health Crisis on College Campuses," Mary Ellen Flennery quotes Jim Perez, a college professor at Olive Harvey College: "'I've got a student who, pretty much every day for the past three weeks, has emailed me to say, 'I can't even get out of bed today.' "(nea.orgLinks to an external site.). When Jim states that a student hasn't been in class for the past three weeks, which is a long time, it looks like the student doesn't have the motivation or capability to be present in the class. When a student is unable to attend their class due to their mental health, it can lead to their grades dropping. This eventually causes even more stress, makes them even less motivated, and can negatively impact their well-being. It is evident that mental health issues can hinder a student's path to success.

2- Educators, whether they want to accept or admit it to be the case, are in positions of leadership; many, unfortunately, are failures and their students bear the ultimate cost. To place the onus entirely on the student when failure occurs is ignoring how their[educators] own failures are reflected in the outcomes of the student's academic engagement/excellence. In a 2013 study published by The National Library of Medicine/National Institute of Health titled "Academic failure and students' viewpoint: The influence of individual, internal and external organizational factors" clearly determined:

"In the instructor area, the role of experienced teachers and their social behaviors was stated as the important factor in the academic failure of students. Hammond's study also revealed the quality of instructor as one of the most important factors for the success of students.[15Links to an external site.] Hazavehei's investigation also found that teaching methodology including factors like teachers' efforts for explaining the materials, effectiveness of teaching methods, impact on teaching methods, learner-centeredness, observing discipline and content integrity, creating active learning, using techniques and available teaching facilities can affect the educational status of students to some extent."

There are often a myriad of red herrings directed towards the students to be when academic failure occurs: socioeconomic factors, first-generation student, marital status, and age. Commonly, it is the case that, the burden of acadedmic failure is placed on the shoulders of the student, and there are times that it may a factor, but it is just a likely that such are non-issues. Regardless, these are common declarations from educators attempting to shift the blame as further revelations of the study stated that, "the highest score was related to the curriculum...among the studied areas according to the students' viewpoints. After that, instructor...and environmental factor had the highest scores. Furthermore, the socioeconomic area had the lowest score...among the factors affecting academic failure from the students' viewpoints."

All factors considered, educators are in the sole position of authority, yet are often absent any accountability or responsibility, and should they[educators] fail in their undertakings it is the student that bears the full weight of their[educators'] failure.

"To what degree?" you may ask yourself.

A study cited within the initial text determined that "in one of the American universities on people who committed suicide indicated academic failure as the most common cause of their[students] suicide."

Let us consider the above statement: "Academic failure...the most common cause of their[educators' students'] suicide."

Simply, when educators fail in their obligations, duties, and sacred trusts it can, and ultimately does, result in loss of life itself.

How can I respond to those answers;