Hello, I wrote a rough draft and my professor gave me some feedback on what I should do to improve my paper. This feedback includes for me to include an introduction saying what I am doing in my essay and in the intro give a brief summary of the article I read and to provide a thesis statement previewing my analytic claims. He also wants me to be more specific on the organizational skills of the articles and to not say it has topics and subtopics it has to be specific to my article. If you could help me with this that would be great. And if you have other recommendations to improve my paper that would be greatly appreciated too. Thanks!

I will attach the link to the article as well as my draft...

Local food systems, citizen and public science, empowered communities, and democracy: hopes deserving to live | Agriculture and Human Values (springer.com)

In the article " Local food systems, citizen and public science, empowered communities, and democracy: hopes deserving to live" by: William Lacy, the article is organized with an abstract, introduction, subtopics, and a conclusion. The author chose to organize this article in this particular way because it allows readers to follow along more easily and focus better when large pieces of writing are broken down into sections. In addition, the topics and subtopics before paragraphs allow readers to know ahead of time what will be talked about. Likewise, this type of organization and sentences that are broken down so that anyone can understand is helpful because anyone in any profession can read and understand the article which is what the author wants. I believe that the writer ultimately decided to write in this format so that it looks presentable, anyone could understand his piece and he wanted people to be actively engaged in the article.

The argumentative purpose of this article is to persuade readers that the use of technology and political consensus on food systems are very important in terms of overall agriculture and food availability. The author is trying to convince readers that public-funded research and citizen involvement are critical for addressing challenges such as climate change, inequality, food insecurity, and democracy. The author uses evidence from multiple sources such as researchers, sociologists, and historians to support his writing. In addition to using expert sources he also gained reliable sources from community-based research that helped promote sustainable agriculture and food security. The author used real-world examples from a variety of different sources so that the reader could see the author's main point in a variety of different ways and because experts and everyday people were doing research on the topic of food security and getting the same results that allows the reader to be more likely to believe what is being written.

In this research article, the author uses words such as citizen science, empowered communities, and local food systems. These words were applied in the article because they have positive connotations in an article that talks about serious issues which helps readers feel like there is a sense of hope for the future of agriculture and that one day by people working together food availability and sustainability will improve. In addition, the words I mentioned in the article, talk about communities which can lead readers to want to help out in their own communities because community and local efforts are mentioned a lot throughout this paper therefore others may want to take action and improve the food system in their own communities. Furthermore, this article is written very formally as it has scientific terms and data, lists research from other scientists and experts and uses scientific terms that those in the science field may only know. However, even though this article is formal, it is accessible for any reader as the author always describes acronyms and scientific terms. Likewise, the author includes an abstract in the very beginning that breaks down what he is going to talk about in simple terms. Some examples of technical jargon that the writer assumes that the readers will already know are... food system, public science, sustainable practices, and greenhouse gas emissions. Furthermore, the writer assumes that the readers will have some background knowledge of environmental sustainability, and politics and minimal knowledge in agriculture. However, the author doesn't expect the reader to have knowledge about things such as acronyms, large scientific terminology, and politics that go in-depth and know the historical context. I believe that the author made these specific choices in his writing because he uses terms that people in the scientific field should know, but he also uses descriptions of those terms and writes in a way that anyone can stay engaged in his writing. Furthermore, I believe that overall the writer wanted anyone to be able to understand his writing and that the readers would also feel a sense of determination in wanting to help with food access in their own communities. The writer expects to have two main impacts on his readers one of which is teaching many different people from different fields and places around the world about how important our food system is to empower them to want to learn more, educate others, or take actions to help food systems in their communities. In addition, the writer expects that his readers will want to learn more about food systems and continue to educate themselves about the topic. Scientists and community activists.

The authors' main audience consists of eager learners, environmental scientists, farmers, agricultural scientists, and people who want to make a difference. Furthermore, the author uses a quote from climatologist Molly Anderson that states... " We must push beyond the boundaries imposed by our education, disciplinary training, and institutional and political systems to solve global challenges." Moreover, this quote is one of many examples in the article that touches on how anybody can fight for environmental, policy, and or changes in our food systems. Likewise, as mentioned previously, the article describes abbreviations that not everyone may know, allowing anyone to understand the article. Some examples of these abbreviations include AFHVS, WHO, and AHV. Furthermore, the author uses research from colleges, researchers, and historians that are beneficial to farmers, environmental scientists, and experts and uses positive words to encourage community members to want to make positive changes.

A few insights that I learned from reading this article that would like to incorporate in my own writing are making sure that my writing can be understood by anyone, using encouraging jargon in topics that may be considered more serious, and using evidence from multiple different sources and experts.