How to Manage Conict 1. Be candid. When issues surface, put them on the table for discussion. 2. Be receptive. Discuss all competing points of view. Let everyone on your team know that it's not only safe to disagree - it's expected. 3. Depersonalize. Look at each issue that surfaces as a "business case\" rather than as a personal indictment. (Do let reason triumph over ego.) 4. Be clear about the decision-making rules of the game. People need to know whether the issue under discussion will be decided unilaterally, consultatively, or by consensus. 5. Outiaw triangulation - one combatant's attempt to enlist third-party support to "gang up" on an adversary. Period! 6. Learn to listen. Remember, a key skill here is decoding and feeding back the messages you think you are hearing. This is similar to boomerang questioning, where the leader turns others' assertions into questions and tosses them back for further elaboration. 7. Return the monkey to its rightful owner. Hold executives accountable, and ask them to develop solutions. Accept responsibility for the monkeys that are yours. 8. Recognize and reward successful conict management when you see it. Source: Hesselbein, F., Shrader, A. [Eds.}. (2008}. The leader's role in managing conict. Leader to leader 2: Enduring insights on leadership from the Leader to Leader institute's award winning journal (pp. 135). San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass