I've always envied people who can graciously accept constructive criticism. It seems I was not born with that trait, and throughout my career I've struggled with receiving feedback, even when it was entirely accurate. At the moment I hear the words of critique, my heartbeat quickens and my mind begins to racefirst in search of an explanation for this assault on my person and then for a retort to rationalize whatever actions are in question.

And I'm not alone. Unfortunately, in the heat of the moment, many of us react with defensiveness and anger oreven worseattack the person giving us feedback. But the truth is, we need to get over it. We know there's value in constructive criticismhow else would we identify weaknesses and areas of improvement?and being able to handle it calmly and professionally will only help us maintain relationships and be more successful in everything we do.

So how do you learn to back off the defensive? In other words, how can you better accept constructive criticism without getting pissed off and starting an argument with your boss or co-worker?