message desperately needs a radical rewrite. (L.0.2) Your Task. Study the message and list at least five weaknesses. Then revise to avoid excessive wordiness and repetition. Also think about how to develop an upbeat tone and improve readability. Can you condense this sloppy 14-sentence message into 6 efficient sentences plus a list--and still convey all the necessary information? (L.0.3) (L0. 4) (L.0.5 Management Staff From: Nathan Weintraub enweintraub@tlen.com Subject: Interns Staff: As you may be aware, we have for the past you been considering changing our approach to interns. Your management council recently made a decision to offer compensation to the interns in our internship program because we learned that in two fields computer science and information systems interns we sually paid, which is the nern. However, we will be able to offer any more than three internships. In collaboration with our nearby college, we have narrowed the field to star excellent candidates. These she candidates will be Interviewed. This is to inform you that you are required to attend the interviewing sessions for these student candidates Your presence is needed at these sessions to help us world making poor selections You should mark your calendars for the following three times. We are scheduling the first set of interviews for April 5 to meet is the conference room, Please examine all the candidates rsums, which are attached, and send me your ranking lists. The second laterviewing session is scheduled for April 8 in Office 22 (the conference room was already scheduled) on April 11 we can finish up in the conference room. All of the meetings will start at 2 p.n. In view of the fact that your projects need fresh ideas and talented new team members. I should not have to urge you to attend and be well pred Nathan Weintraub Director, Human Resources message desperately needs a radical rewrite. (l Your Task. Study the message and list at least five weaknesses. Then revise to avoid excessive wordiness and repetition. Also think about how to develop an upbeat tone and improve readability. Can you condense this sloppy 14-sentence message into 6 efficient sentences plus a list-and still convey all the necessary information? L ( Toc Management Staff From: Nathan Weintraub weintraub@bien.com Subject: Interns Staff: As you may be aware, we have for the past year been considering changing our approach to interns. Your management council recently made a decision to offer compensation to the Interns in our internship program because we learned that in the fields computer science and information systems interns are usually paid, which is the norm. However, we will be unable to offer any more than three internships de collaboration with our nearby college, we have narrowed the field to six excellent candidates. These six candidates will be interviewed. This is to inform you that you are required to attend the interviewing sessions for these student candidates. Your presence is needed at these sessions to help us avold making poor selections You should mark your calendars for the following three time. We are scheduling the list of interviews for April to meet in the conference room. Please examines the candidates resunds, which we attached, and send me your ranking lists. The second interviewing session is scheduled for April in office 22 (the conference room was already scheduled). On April 11 we can finish up in the conference room. All of the meetings will stattIn view of the fact that your projects need Fresh ideas and talented new team members I should not have to urge you to attend and be well prepared. Nathan Weintraub Director Human Resources entences plus a list-and still convey all the necessary information? To: Management Staff From: Nathan Weintraub Subject: Interns Staff: As you may be aware, we have for the past year been considering changing our approach to Interns. Your management council recently made a decision to offer compensation to the interns in our internship program because we learned that in two fields (computer science and Information systems) interns are usually paid, which is the norm. However, we will be unable to offer any more than three Internships. In collaboration with our nearby college, we have narrowed the field to six excellent candidates. These six candidates will be interviewed. This is to inform you that you are required to attend three interviewing sessions for these student candidates. Your presence is needed at these sessions to help us avold making poor selections. You should mark your calendars for the following three times. We are scheduling the first set of interviews for April 5 to meet In the conference room. Please examine all the candidates' resumes, which are attached, and send me your ranking lists. The second interviewing session is scheduled for April 8 in Office 22 (the conference room was already scheduled). On April 11 we can finish up in the conference room. All of the meetings will start at 2 p.m. In view of the fact that your projects need fresh ideas and talented new team members, I should not have to urge you to attend and be well prepared. Nathan Weintraub Director, Human Resources message desperately needs a radical rewrite. (L.0.2) Your Task. Study the message and list at least five weaknesses. Then revise to avoid excessive wordiness and repetition. Also think about how to develop an upbeat tone and improve readability. Can you condense this sloppy 14-sentence message into 6 efficient sentences plus a list--and still convey all the necessary information? (L.0.3) (L0. 4) (L.0.5 Management Staff From: Nathan Weintraub enweintraub@tlen.com Subject: Interns Staff: As you may be aware, we have for the past you been considering changing our approach to interns. Your management council recently made a decision to offer compensation to the interns in our internship program because we learned that in two fields computer science and information systems interns we sually paid, which is the nern. However, we will be able to offer any more than three internships. In collaboration with our nearby college, we have narrowed the field to star excellent candidates. These she candidates will be Interviewed. This is to inform you that you are required to attend the interviewing sessions for these student candidates Your presence is needed at these sessions to help us world making poor selections You should mark your calendars for the following three times. We are scheduling the first set of interviews for April 5 to meet is the conference room, Please examine all the candidates rsums, which are attached, and send me your ranking lists. The second laterviewing session is scheduled for April 8 in Office 22 (the conference room was already scheduled) on April 11 we can finish up in the conference room. All of the meetings will start at 2 p.n. In view of the fact that your projects need fresh ideas and talented new team members. I should not have to urge you to attend and be well pred Nathan Weintraub Director, Human Resources message desperately needs a radical rewrite. (l Your Task. Study the message and list at least five weaknesses. Then revise to avoid excessive wordiness and repetition. Also think about how to develop an upbeat tone and improve readability. Can you condense this sloppy 14-sentence message into 6 efficient sentences plus a list-and still convey all the necessary information? L ( Toc Management Staff From: Nathan Weintraub weintraub@bien.com Subject: Interns Staff: As you may be aware, we have for the past year been considering changing our approach to interns. Your management council recently made a decision to offer compensation to the Interns in our internship program because we learned that in the fields computer science and information systems interns are usually paid, which is the norm. However, we will be unable to offer any more than three internships de collaboration with our nearby college, we have narrowed the field to six excellent candidates. These six candidates will be interviewed. This is to inform you that you are required to attend the interviewing sessions for these student candidates. Your presence is needed at these sessions to help us avold making poor selections You should mark your calendars for the following three time. We are scheduling the list of interviews for April to meet in the conference room. Please examines the candidates resunds, which we attached, and send me your ranking lists. The second interviewing session is scheduled for April in office 22 (the conference room was already scheduled). On April 11 we can finish up in the conference room. All of the meetings will stattIn view of the fact that your projects need Fresh ideas and talented new team members I should not have to urge you to attend and be well prepared. Nathan Weintraub Director Human Resources entences plus a list-and still convey all the necessary information? To: Management Staff From: Nathan Weintraub Subject: Interns Staff: As you may be aware, we have for the past year been considering changing our approach to Interns. Your management council recently made a decision to offer compensation to the interns in our internship program because we learned that in two fields (computer science and Information systems) interns are usually paid, which is the norm. However, we will be unable to offer any more than three Internships. In collaboration with our nearby college, we have narrowed the field to six excellent candidates. These six candidates will be interviewed. This is to inform you that you are required to attend three interviewing sessions for these student candidates. Your presence is needed at these sessions to help us avold making poor selections. You should mark your calendars for the following three times. We are scheduling the first set of interviews for April 5 to meet In the conference room. Please examine all the candidates' resumes, which are attached, and send me your ranking lists. The second interviewing session is scheduled for April 8 in Office 22 (the conference room was already scheduled). On April 11 we can finish up in the conference room. All of the meetings will start at 2 p.m. In view of the fact that your projects need fresh ideas and talented new team members, I should not have to urge you to attend and be well prepared. Nathan Weintraub Director, Human Resources