Messages and relationships are often ambiguous; instead of assuming one interpretation is right and another wrong, it may be useful to try to disambiguate the message and find out more clearly what the speaker means.

Here are a few ambiguous situations; for each, indicate what you would say to resolve the ambiguity. If possible, try to share your responses with others in a small group and perhaps combine responses to come up with the ideal way to reduce the ambiguity. Or responses from a larger group can be written on index cards (anonymously), collected, and read aloud for the entire group to evaluate.

a. Youve been dating Pat on and off for the past six months. Today, Pat asks you to come to dinner and meet the parents. Youre not sure if this means that Pat wants to get more serious (which you do not want) or if its a simple dinner invitation with no additional motives. How might you disambiguate this dinner invitation message?

b. At an appraisal interview, your supervisor says that your work over the last six months has improved considerablythen smiles and says, But theres always more that we need to do and then nonverbally indicates that the interview is over and you can return to work. Since youre considering other job offers, you want to know in more detail how your current employer sees you and your prospects for advancement. How might you disambiguate this job appraisal?

c. You receive an e-mail invitation to address the eighth-grade class of your local middle school on careers in communication. The invitation said little more than that a conference on careers is planned and that theyd like to schedule you as one of the speakers. This is too ambiguous for you; you need to know in more detail what will be expected of you. How might you disambiguate this invitation to speak?