Need some help turning memo draft into final product. Memo template is at the bottom

To: Darren Yander From: Date: May 7, 2024

Subject: Feedback from Upper Management

I hope you are doing well as I write this message. I wanted to draw your attention to a recent discussion I had with the company's vice president. There are some questions about a report that I think you wrote as part of our team.

Regretfully, Margie called the report in question "weird" and hard to understand. She identified multiple instances in which the text lacked cohesion and clarity. She also pointed out a lot of typos and grammatical mistakes in the paper.

I want to be clear that Margie's criticism does not represent your abilities or team contributions. It is critical to understand that good communication is critical, particularly when our work involves others outside of our immediate team. Maintaining our team's and the company's overall trust and reputation depends on our written communications being professional and clear.

Moving forward, it is essential that we take immediate action to resolve this matter going ahead. I am aware that you write in a distinctive way, but it is crucial that our documents be precise, succinct, and error-free. Together, we can create plans for enhancing your writing abilities, such extra instruction or access to materials.

I want you to know that my goal is to help you advance professionally and make sure our work is presented to the best advantage. We can conquer this obstacle together if you are committed and eager to learn.

Thank you for your attention to this matter. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any queries or worries.

Feedback list I have been given

1. Why name her directly? This could unintentionally make her a target, given there are multiple members of "upper management".
2. Even if appropriate verbally, in some contexts, you wouldn't want to be this casual with upper managements first names as it can be a sign of disrespect, even when unintended.
3. This could land a little harsh, no? Why point out "weird" as that's not professional. All written communications are available to the company for review.
4. Opening w/ a compliment makes the employee more receptive to constructive criticism. :)
5. If you highlighted his contributions prior to presenting the writing issues, it could be more effective.
6. Good tone from a team leader - part of, not. How about, "...committed to improving your written documents." rather than learn? - keep the focus on the writing, team, company standards/expectations mores than "Margie said X"

MEMORANDUM One space] To: ENC Students From: Your Name [Make sure to initial next to your name in ink when you print out a hard copy] Date: October 1, 2018 Subject: Sample Memo [Hit the tab key once to match up with headings above] Write one sentence stating the purpose of the memo [optional] Heading A [use descriptive headings] No space or indentation here. Heading B No space or indentation here. Heading C No space or indentation here. Other Important Notes: (1) Difference between a letter and a memo: A memo is usually addressed to people inside of a writer's organization (2) Use short paragraphs-Remember, usability (3) You may use bullet points if you wish (4) There's no greeting or salutation in a memo