Note: Radical Rewrites are previded at

www$.$cengagebrain.com for you to download and revise. Your instructor may show a suggested soiktion.

$4\mathrm{.}1$ Radical Rewrite: Information E$-$Mail$-$Negative Announcement $($a$.$a$.1-5)$

The following wordy, inefficient, and disorganized message invites department managers to three interviewing sessions to select student interns. However, to be effective, this message desperately needs a radical rewrite.

YOUR TASK.Study the message and Ist at least five weaknesies. Then revise to avoid excessive wordiness and tepetition. Also think. about how to develop an upbeat tone and imprave readsbility. Can you condense thib slappy $14-$sentence message into $6$ efficient sentences plus a list$-$and still corrvey all the necessary information?

Toc Management Stalf

From: Nathan Weintsabs enweintraub@bien,cons

Subject: Interns

Staff:

As you may be aware. we have for the past year been considering chunging our apprach to interns. Your nanagenent counct. recently made a decision to offer conpensation to the intems in our internstip progran because we learned that in time tields $($computer science and infornation systems$)$ interss, are usually pais, which is the form. Howeve, we will be unabla to offer any mare than three isternships.

In collaboration with our nearby collepe, we have namownd the field to six excellent cantidates. Thest six candidates will be interviewed. This is to inform you that you are required to attend three intervieuing sessions for these student candidates. Your presence is needed at these sessions to help us avoid naking poor selectians.

You should mark your calendars for the following three tirtes. We ale scheduling the ficst set of interviews for April $5$ to aeat in the coeference foom. Please examine all the candidstes' resumeh. which are attached, and send me your ranking liats.

The second interviewieg session is scheduled for Apeit $8$ in office $22($the conference roon was alreaby sateduled$).$ On April $11wt$ can finish up in the cosference roon. All of the meetings will start at $2$ p$.$n$.$ In viev of the fact that you prejects need fresh ideas and taiented rew team nenbers. I should not have to arge you to attend and be well prepared.

Kithan Weintraub

Director, Human Resources

List at least five weaknesses.