Read the case below. Using the information from the conversation and the text given, write an email that meets the textbook requirements for a email, and fulfills the purpose discussed.

Your friend at work: Would you look at this email I wrote before I send it and give me some feedback, you know, how to improve it? I know youre taking that writing course at BCIT, and some of the emails I send get a really bad response. Our boss has got some complaints, and she told me not to send such terrible emails again. I think my job might be on the line if I dont shape up youve got to help me out.

You: Okay, Ill take a look, but Im not in tomorrow, so well have to talk about it in a couple of hours, when Ive had a chance to look it over.

Your friend: Well, thats the thing Im in meetings all afternoon, and then I have to leave a bit early to see my sons soccer game could you write it out in an email, so I can read your tips over tomorrow and re-write my email based on your tips?

You: Oh. Well, I dont think the boss would be too pleased to know how I spent my afternoon that stuff takes time!

Your friend: Well, thats the other thing. I already told the boss when she was upset with me that Id ask you for help. She agreed that I needed it. And, she said she wanted to see evidence that Id followed up. Ive been pretty busy, so I was kind of hoping you could cc: her on the email to prove Im working on it.

You: Oh no! Our boss is picky with writing. Thats why Im going on this course, to show her I agree communication is important, and that Im management material. Its going to have to be good.

Your friend: Well, heres your chance to show her what youve learned, and showcase your new skills, I guess. Make sure to give me some good, useful tips from your course. Dont re-write my whole email, but you can give me some examples of better wording if you like, just to illustrate your points.

You: Okay, but you owe me one!

Your friend: (Walking away) Thanks! Oh my, Im late for my meeting Ive got to run. One last thing Be positive, okay? Help me out, and dont make me look bad!

You: Oh my goodness, with friends like these, who needs enemies? I better get to work!

As she walks away, you read the print-out of the email Ima gave you -- she does need help! This is what it says:

TO: info@greybustours.com

FROM: Ima Needy, Travel BC

DATE: January 3, 2018

SUBJECT: ANGRY CUSTOMER!!! : (

I am writing this email to you today as I had to let you know about my experience with your company, which was very disappointing and a let-down for a large number of our staff and also our clients, who are very valuable to us, which doesnt seem to the the case at your company!

I booked a tour for the group at the Meadowvale Seniors Centre well in advance (back in August). The fact is you had plenty of time to let me know that a bus would not be available for them, but instead you left them standing out front of the Seniors Centre for 2 hours! I cant believe you would leave a group of old people waiting for a tour bus for two hours before calling to let us know there was no tour bus available for us! Do you think thats funny? They had been looking forward to the tour you listed as The Heritage Houses of Victoria, but instead of having a nice day out, they were disappointed, let-down, sad, and out-of-sorts. Do your office girls not get training in how to deal with cancellations? The girl who finally called to let me know there was a problem kindly apologized, but her offer to reschedule the tour for next week is unacceptable! Why would I want to put these old people through this again? What incentive do we have to use your company again? I demand that you immediately reimburse the Meadowvale Seniors Centre for the entire cost of the tour ($750) so we can give the money back to the aforementioned individuals who signed up for the tour.

Im surprised your business is still in business.

Ima

Now, write the email your friend Ima Needy requested with tips on improving her email, and cc: your boss, Ms. Picky, at Travel BC, where you work. Make up any names, phone numbers, dates, or other information you need to complete the email, as long as it doesnt conflict with the facts given.

Your writing will be marked for content, format, organization (paragraphs, opening, etc.), tone, clarity, and conciseness, as well as grammar, spelling, etc.

1. Before you start, carefully read the email your friend Ima Needy wrote. Think about what the senders purpose is and what she wants to achieve. What is important in an email with this type of purpose?
2. Then, think about your purpose and what you want to achieve in your email to help Ima with her writing. Write out your purpose and your audiences questions to help you focus.
3. Next, identify the five biggest weaknesses in Ima's email. Think about what tips youd give to improve the communication. You do NOT have to revise the email entirely, just give clear tips on how to improve it.
4. Prioritize the five most important tips for Ima to be able to revise her email as necessary to make it meet the standards of business writing discussed in the Modules and the textbook (e.g., tone, reader benefits/you view, etc).
5. When you write and revise, evaluate your work against the case to ensure it includes or addresses all the relevant details from the case. Would it be successful in the situation given? Your five tips should be clear and emphasized, and any details or examples needed provided for the document to meet its purpose. Lastly, proofread your document for errors (reading aloud helps!).

Good luck! You have two hours to create your best work - use it!