Sample Text 2

The following is a cover letter for a preschool job aide position available at a university daycare center.

To Whom It May Concern:

After hearing many good things about the daycare at Grisham State University, I wanted to see if there were any job opportunities for a person such as me. I was very pleased to see an opportunity as a preschool aide.

My personal interests would aid me in this job as well. In my freetime I like to papercraft. I love using my Cricut to make things and give gifts. I am very good at coming up with creative projects for little hands and small attention spans. Also I volunteer my time as a book club leader forthird-grade girls in my school district.Education and working with people is what motivates me. No matter what I will work in education until I retire.

I have worked as a preschool aide before at my local YMCA. For two years, I helped the four year old class along side the preschool teacher, Pamela White. In this setting I did all the traditional aide duties, including light cleaning and working with students one on one. At the end of my time with the YMCA, I was given the "Brightest Star" award. I also have a lot of babysitting experience. I have many siblings to and that has helped me learn how to take care of others.

In addition to my experience as a preschool aide, I also speak Spanish and some French. I am familiar with several computer programs including Excel and Word and a handful of others. I'm a quick learner and can pick up new systems super fast. Safety is my number 1 concern and I pride myself on my attention to detail and my positive outlook. I am currently enrolled at WGU where I am in the process of earning my teaching certificate. I love school!

My other hobbies are book clubs and rock climbing. One exercised my mind and the other exercises my body. It's important to be in good shape when taking care of little ones. If you can't tell already, I'm definitely interested in this job. Please do contact me for additional information!

For further information, please contact me at 555-5522. Texting is preferred.

Thanks,

Jo Jones

REVISED TEXT:

To Whom It May Concern:

I was interested in seeing if there were any job openings at Grisham State University after hearing so many positive things about your daycare. The possibility of working as a preschool assistant filled me with great joy.

My hobbies would also help me in this job position.In myfree time,I like to papercraft. I love using my Cricut to make things and give gifts. I am very good at coming up with creative projects for little hands and small attention spans. Also,I volunteer my time as a book club leader forthird-grade girls in my school district.Education and working with people is what motivates me. No matter what,I will work in education until I retire.

I have worked as a preschool aide before at my local YMCA. For two years, I helped the four-year-old class alongwiththe preschool teacher, Pamela White. In this setting, I did all the traditional aide duties, including light cleaning and working with studentsone-on-one.At the end of my time with the YMCA, I was given the "Brightest Star" award. I also have a lot of babysitting experience. I have many siblings,and that has helped me learn how to take care of others.

In addition to my experience as a preschool aide, I also speak Spanish and some French. I am familiar with several computer programs, including Excel, Word and a handful of others. I'm a quick learner and can pick up new systems super fast. Safety is my number 1 concern and I pride myself on my attention to detail and my positive outlook. I am currently enrolled at WGU, where I am in the process of earning my teaching certificate. I love school!

My other hobbies are book clubs and rock climbing. One exercised my mind and the otherexercisedmy body. It's important to be in good shape when taking care of little ones. If you can't tell already, I'm interested in this job. Please do contact me for additional information!

For further information, please contact me at 555-5522. Texting is preferred.

Thanks,

Sincerely,

Jo Jones

EXPLANATION TO REVISION:

B.Discuss the changes you made to the text in part A by doing the following:

1.The letter has a formal structure, and its purpose is to apply for a position, so we must be meticulous with the details.

2.I am applying to be a teacher, so I need to be careful with my grammar, as this will be the starting point for the school/company if they hire you.

C.Provide feedback to the writer of your chosen text by doing the following:

The introduction started with "After." It is very informal, at least it starts with I as if you have a strong interest for the job.

The greatest strength of the text is that the applicant/writer included personal experiences connected to the skills of the job he was applying for. First hand experience is a great asset when applying for a job.

The weakest part is the introduction, as it's not strong to catch the attention of the employer. Intro must be impactful as this may determine if the receiver of the letter will continue reading the entire text.

It's partially successful because on the last part, the applicant is still discussing his hobby, it should be a sum up but he never failed to give a contact number for him to reach out to.

D.Acknowledge sources, using in-text citations and references, for content that is quoted, paraphrased, or summarized. In writing a letter for a job, you can paraphrase it using this tool, making your word simple but still professional.

my paper got kicked because there wasn't any edits to the text and you half to explain why you made the edits in the text could some one help me out.