Section 1: Amplify Your Voice

Below (after the example), answer the questions to start revising what you wrote in Brainstorm #1 for the 3 parts of your thesis in order to more clearly explain what and why you personally would take a specific action in the scenario depicted in the play:

Example of Brainstorm Draft Thesis (the bold words are revised in the second example):

If I am in the position of the Narrator, I would try tohelp the Passenger (the person being harassed) in order to survive a situation where a government official is trying tocontrol reality. My decision to help the Passengerbuilds on ElHalawani's argument that the audience learns that it is important to work in groups to not be controlled. The reason why I would try to help the Passenger is becausesituations that I've experienced in my life have taught me tostand up for others.

Example of How to Revise this Thesis to showcase why Your Life Experience OR Unique Way of Viewing the world influences your argument.Revisions in BLUE.

If I am in the position of the Narrator, I would try totalk directly tothe Passenger (the person being harassed)and make sure the Passenger knows that what the Conductor is saying is not truein order to survive a situation where a government official is trying tomanipulate someone into thinking that they have broken a law and should be punished. My decision totalk withthe Passengeradds an important emphasis on communication between targeted peoplethat builds onElHalawani's argument that the audience learns that it is important to work in groups to not be controlled. The reason why I would try totalk tothe Passenger is becausewhen I worked at a gym in Manhattan one of my supervisors would always try to find me or my coworkers when we were working alone and claim that we had to work for extra hours without pay. My supervisor was usually very good at convincing me that I had to do what he said, but there was a time when another coworker arrived and interrupted the supervisor by talking to me and helping me realize the supervisor was making up the rules. From this similar experience to the power dynamics of Night Traveler, I am committed to making sure that workers or other people who are being psychologically manipulated know that what the supervisor or other official says is not necessarily true.

As you can see above, part of advancing your writing includes adding much more detail to your ideas. The goal is to help your reader remember what and why you personally decided to focus on a particular idea or argument.

1. Below list one word or short phrase in your draft thesis that you can change or add to be more specific:

1. What other word or phrase could you use that will showcase your personality or way that your experience in the world has shaped the type of action that you would take

1. Why would you make this change to this word or short phrase

1. Make a list of other words or phrases in your draft thesis that you can change to be more specific and highlight why you are offering an analysis that is shaped by your personal beliefs or experience

Section 2: Outlining the Body Paragraphs

For Essay #2, you need to write2 body paragraphs in analytical format for using 2 sources at once in a paragraph. In Body Paragraph #1 should provide your first explanation ofwhy you personally would take the action that you stated in the thesis. Body Paragraph #2 should provide your second explanation ofwhy you personally would take the action or inaction that you stated in the thesis.Think of Essay #2 as explaining your 1 rationale in multiple ways and from different angles.You're offering 2 different detailed explanations about why you would take 1 action or inaction.

To practice this advanced analytical writing approach, we are using a more complex two source analytical paragraph format that adds onto the basic format that you used for Essay #1. In Body Paragraph #1, you need to clarify how why the action or inaction that you would take builds on or diverges from ElHalawani's argument as well what exactly in the play makes you think you should take the action or inaction. Thus, in Body Paragraph #1, you'll need to use 1 quote from ElHalawani's article and 1 quote from the play. In Body Paragraph #2, you need to further example how why the action or inaction that you would take builds on or diverges from a different part of ElHalawani's argument as well another part of the play makes you think you should take the action or inaction. Thus, in Body Paragraph #2, you'll need to use 1 quote from ElHalawani's article (different from the one that you used in Body #1) and 1 quote from the play (different from the one that you used in Body #1).The 2 Sources in a Body Paragraph overview in the Skill Guides section of Blackboard provides the format.

To double-check that you know how to put together the body paragraphs,create an outline below forBody Paragraph #1. What is the order of each section of body paragraph #1? Where do you put the quote from ElHalawani's article? Where do you put the quote from Night Traveler?What do you write before and after the quotes?Use bullet points or just type a list with the name of each section of the paragraph. This is for me to double-check that you know what to include.

put below Bullet Point / Numbered Outline for Body Paragraph #1 below.

Section 3: Brainstorming the Second Part of Body Paragraph #1

In Body Paragraph #1, you need to explain the one reason why you would take the action (or inaction) that you state in your thesis. In the first half of the paragraph, you need to explain 1 part of ElHalawani's argument about what audiences do after watching the play and then transition to how your thesis builds on / adds to what she has already argued OR how your thesis goes in a different direction.Then you move to the second half of the paragraph where you explain what and why you would take the action or inaction that you discuss in the introduction.In your final version of the essay there should be no spacebetween the first half and second half of the body paragraph.

Brainstorm the 2^nd half of Body Paragraph #1 Here:

1. How does your reason for taking the action or inaction build on what ElHalawani has already published or how does your reason diverge or disagree with what ElHalawani has argued audiences do or realize after watching the play?

1. Below, lines from the play that you can use to show why you would take the action (or inaction) from your thesis. Keep the quote short! You will need to explain all the words in the quote. If you choose a short quote, you need to write less! Use MLA Format(include page numbers).

1. Interpretation of a word from the quote. What do you personally think the word symbolizes or implies?

1. Interpretation of another word from the quote. What do you personally think the word symbolizes or implies?

1. Make a list of the other wordsin the quote that you need to remember to interpret and write at least a sentence explaining in Body Paragraph #1: