Task After viewing the posted lecture on editing, edit and rewrite the following paragraphs. Be sure to focus on the following areas: Avoid absolute language Avoid contractions Avoid talking

Clarify ambiguous pronouns

Incorporate transitions

Blend sentences

Eliminate redundancy

Avoid vague generalizations

Eliminate wordiness

Fix punctuation

Use concise language

Adjust language to enhance a professional tone

Ensure significant content

General grammatical correctness

Write your answers below the sentences, so I can see how you improved areas. Fix the sentences so they are concise and clear. Pay attention to grammatical errors and the tone.

1. After talking with some of the students that have classes at night and others that dorm it has come to my attention that not all the students feel safe at night on campus. The main problems that the students have brought up to me when talking to them is that the campus is too dark at night, and that they do not see enough campus police around campus.

2. For police walking around on campus you could station the officers in between buildings so that if something were to happen at one of them an officer is not on the other side of campus he or she is close to the building.

3. I am writing to you today to convey my concern with the ongoing pandemic and door handles accessing each building on campus. It has come to my recent attention that almost every single student must access a building through a closed door of some sort. With the ongoing pandemic I do not believe this is totally safe, nor sanitary, to be doing so.

4. I been attending Farmingdale for 2 years and 1 semester and commuting is one of the most stressful and difficult experiences I have endured. Finding parking shouldnt be the stressful part of attending college but obviously it is and you need to do something about it.

5. from my understanding I know there is a building next to the campus center where students can go to play games, watch television, or play video games. I dont believe its a big enough building to have a hangout area as those who live on campus are usually in there. The main reasoning behind this proposition is I believe it will spread the students out to be comfortable wherever they wish to go. A cafeteria where kids can go to eat without carrying their food somewhere else just to eat. With a new building and a place for students to hangout it will open up the cafeteria for students to order food and sit at a table without hesitating to get food