Which is the most effective, unsolicited application message attention$-$getter?

You have a great company that I have always loved and admired. Without further delay, I request that you review and consider my letter of application and re$$sume$$ and consider me as a candidate for a position as a merger and acquisitions productivity specialist

Your company$$s recent merger with competitor Webcore.com has the potential to increase your profitability threefold. However, you will need the expertise and experience to take full advantage of this opportunity and make your merger a success. Through my role as an integration and transition officer with Ace Corp., I gained the knowledge base and experience necessary to make your merger with Webcore.com the ultimate in productivity

I would like you to review my application. I think that my skills could be used by your company at this point during its merger with Webcore.com. Throughout my career, I have saved companies like yours. I can save yours, too