4. Using I Language For the next three days, whenever you use you language, try to rephrase what you said or thought in I language. How does this change how you think and feel about what’s happening? How does using I language affect interaction with others?

Are others less defensive when you own your feelings and describe, but don’t evaluate, their behaviors? Does I language facilitate working out constructive changes?

Now that you’re tuned into I and you language, monitor how you feel when others use you language about you. When a friend or romantic partner says, “You make me feel . . . ,” do you feel defensive or guilty? Try teaching others to use I language so that your relationships can be more honest and open.