Document for Analysis: Weak Internal Memo

Your Task.
Study the following memo, which is based on an actual document sent to employees. How can you apply what you learned in this chapter to improving this memo? Revise the memo to make it more courteous, positive, and precise. Focus on developing the “you” view and using familiar language. Remove any gender-biased references. Consider revising this memo as a collaboration project using Word’s Comment feature.
TO: All Employees Using HP 5000 Computers It has recently come to my attention that a computer security problem exists within our organization. I understand that the problem is twofold in nature:
a. You have been sharing computer passwords.
b. You are using automatic logon procedures.
Henceforth, you are prohibited from sharing passwords for security reasons that should be axiomatic. We also must forbid you to use automatic logon files because they empower anyone to have access to our entire computer system and all company data. Enclosed please find a form that you must sign and return to the aforementioned individual, indicating your acknowledgment of and acquiescence to the procedures described here. Any computer user whose signed form is not returned will have his personal password invalidated.