The next time you’re involved in a difficult conversation, check in with yourself by asking the questions in Figure 7. Try to reflect intellectually, emotionally, and physically. What does your assessment tell you about your experience? What adjustments can you make to improve the situation?

Figure 7

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? 4 ? ? Intellectual Reflection Are you getting the results you want? Why or why not? How is the person (or people) reacting to you? What do you observe about the others' tone of voice or body language? Emotional Reflection How do you feel right now? Are you frustrated, angry, annoyed, satisfied, excited, hopeful, or something else? How are your emotions affecting the interaction? Are they encouraging cooperation and support, or are they getting in the way? Physical Reflection What is your body language right now, and what is it communicating to the other person? How do you feel physically? Does your physical feeling denote an underlying reaction that is inconsistent with the character you want to demonstrate?