In Seattle the 24-Hour Gym promises to strengthen bodies. However, its weak e-mail to its clients needs
Question:
In Seattle the 24-Hour Gym promises to strengthen bodies. However, its weak e-mail to its clients needs a radical rewrite to improve its effectiveness.
Your Task. The following e-mail suffers from numerous writing faults such as dangling modifiers, overuse of the passive voice, and fragments. Notice that small superscript numbers identify each sentence or group of words. Individually or in a group, analyze this message and list the faulty sentences or groups of words. Be sure your group agrees on its analysis. Your instructor may ask you to revise the message to remedy its faults.
To: Tyler.Long
From: Janice Rivera
Subject: Expanding Your Workouts at 24-Hour Gym
Cc:
Bcc:
Dear Mr. Long,
1. 24-Hour Gym here in Seattle was probably selected by you because it is one of the top-rated gyms in the Northwest.
2. Our principal goal has always been making your workouts productive.
3. To continue to provide you with the best equipment and programs, your feedback is needed.
4. An outstanding program with quality equipment and excellent trainers has been provided by 24-Hour Gym.
5. However, more individual attention could be given by us to our customers if our peak usage time could be extended.
6. You have probably noticed that attendance at the gym increases from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m.
7. We wish it were possible to accommodate all our customers on their favorite equipment during those hours.
8. Although we can’t stretch an hour.
9. We would like to make better use of the time between 8 p.m. and 11 p.m.
10. If more members came later, the gym would have less crush from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m.
11. To encourage you to stay later, security cameras for our parking area are being considered by my partner and me.
12. Cameras for some inside facilities may also be added.
13. This matter has been given considerable thought.
14. Although 24-Hour Gym has never had an incident that endangered a member.
15. Please fill in the attached interactive questionnaire.
16. Which will give us instant feedback about scheduling your workouts.
17. By completing this questionnaire, your workouts and training sessions can be better planned so that you can enjoy exactly the equipment and trainers you prefer.
Cordially,
What three sentences have dangling modifiers?
What eight sentences exhibit passive voice?
Which three groups of words represent fragments?
Expert Answer:
Answer Dangling modifiers 8Although we cant stretch an hour Correct Statement Although we cant stret... View the full answer
