201 Chapter 7 Communication in Negotiation Exercise 7-1 Checking Perceptions 52 Part 1: Imagine yourself in the following situation: You are driving north on the highway. You enter an intersection at a green light to turn left. You wait, since there are oncoming cars. The light turns yellow, then red, and you start your left turn to clear the intersection... but the oncoming car fails to stop at the red light. It comes right for you, thanks to your quick reflexes, you manage to miss colliding with the car by a few inches, Do not read Part 2 yet. Instead, use the following lines to jot down your attitudes and feelings about the driver of the car who nearly hit you. Part 2: Read the following paragraph, which describes what is going on in the mind of the driver of the car that nearly hit you: I am driving home from the hospital. Three days ago, my fiance of three years and I were coming back from our wedding rehearsal dinner with our families. We are deeply religious and do not drink. On the way home, our car was struck by a drunk driver. The car hit us on the driver's side. I was shaken but not seri- ously hurt. My fianc, however, was thrown against the windshield. While the doctors seem to have repaired his broken tibia and bandaged up the surface wounds effectively, they do not know why he hasn't regained consciousness. He breathes through a tube and is fed through an IV. I am by his side nearly every moment talking with him and telling him how much I love him. But this morning, the doctors said that the latest MRI looked bad and that his chances of ever waking up are increasingly slim. I am in shock. He is the love of my life, and without him, I have no life. In the lines below, describe how, if at all, this new information has revised your views about what caused the driver to nearly hit you. Does this new information change the way you think about the person? Finally, what conclusions do you draw about the impact of perceptions-accurate and inaccurate-on how you interpret the words and actions of others during a negotia- tion process? What can you do to manage your own words and behavior in response to your perceptions of others? 205 Chapter 7 Communication in Negotition Exercise 7-5 Responding with Empathy Rico is a newly minted MBA. Upon graduation from Yale, Rico received several offers (including signing bonuses!) from top consulting firms. He chose to stay in Connecti- cut, accepting a position from a smaller, boutique consulting firm in Stamford-partly because he'd heard that in the big four firms, it would take at least a year before Rico would be able to work directly with the client as opposed to functioning as one of several analysts on a consulting team. At Townsend and Associates, where Rico replaced a consultant who just retired, he was given three clients for whom he was lead consultant, as well as being asked to serve on two other project teams for larger, long-standing projects. From his first few months at Townsend, Rico impressed management with his busi- ness acumen and no-nonsense attitude. The work got done, the clients were pleased, and word of mouth was picking up steam. However, some of his coworkers-teammates on project teams--are beginning to resent Rico's competitive nature. His high standards for himself and his teammates-has contributed to some members feeling like Rico is something of a drill sergeant. On Friday, Rico read Lester the riot act for coming late to the meeting. Lester said nothing at the moment, but after the meeting ended, he walked into Rico's office and said: Why are you giving me such a hard time about being five minutes late for our team meeting? Give me a break! You know that I have responsibilities at home and it is hard for me to get here on time. I'm 40 and I have a wife and two small sons at home. Do you have to deal with sick kids? Do you have to arrange an emergency babysitter so you can get to class on time? Do you have to fight traffic to get here after working a full day? You would be much more understanding if you weren't just a kid with no responsibilities! Questions 1. If you were Rico, what would be the goal of your response to Lester's complaint? 2. How would you word your response to meet this goal? Explain. 3. Because you are teammates, you will need to show empathy and trust. Further damage to your relationship with Lester will not only impact his productivity, but that of the team as well. In what ways does your response in #2 communicate empathy and trust? Explain