(All the letters that needs work are the bolden ones AND PLEASE FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE THE LETTERS)

Problem 1

This letter was drafted by your predecessor, who was just terminated because of poor communication skills. Your task is to revise the message. It is full of format and grammatical errors. For example, the format of the numbers in the dates is incorrectly expressed; the use of p.m. is also incorrect. Watch the incorrect use of the relative pronoun with the singular subject child. Avoid excessive use of the passive voice as well as the trite and outdated expressions in this letter. Be as specific as possible about the date of the Open House eventinclude the day of the week. Also, to plan properly for the event, you need a very specific response date as well, probably the Wednesday before the Sunday event.

Your revision should pay attention to the organization of the information. For example, it will help if you reorganize the material so that the points related to the day's activities are written in parallel structure with bullets. Here is a suggestion:

1. Start with general information about the program;
2. Then provide specific bulleted information about a typical afternoon's activities;
3. Next refer to the Open House;
4. End with a cordial restatement of the invitation to attend the Open House.

Since this letter is a promotional sales message, try to make the language as inviting and persuasive as possible. Be sure to include all necessary letter parts.The person signing this letter is Jonathan S. Blakefield, Director of Education. Since you are revising the document, your reference initials should appear. Be sure to refer to the information posted about the correct use of reference initials.Do not forget the enclosure notation.Make sure you have proper paragraphs.

This letter's message will probably take two pages.Your textbook shows the correct way to format multiple pages of a letter. If you are unsure of how to format a two-page letter, please refer to the posted sample documents. Otherwise, just submit your draft without the second-page heading, and will format the document for you in your draft so that you can submit the correct style in your final version.

The letter should be dated February 18, 2024.

Mr. and Mrs. Stanley Blanca, 2893 Raleigh Turnpike, Rapid Springs, IN 47538 Dear Sir (find the correct salutation).

We received your letter requesting information about the Rubato Spring Enrichment Music Program for gifted and talented elementary school students. It would appear that your daughter Elissa is indeed eligible.Our program runs TWTh from March 12 to May 9th from 3:30 to 5:30. pm. There will be no classes during the week of March 25^th or on Tuesday, April 23.In order for you to learn more about our program, you are invited to attend our Open House on February 25th from 3 to 6. At that time our music teachers will be available to answer your questions. Every session from 3:45 to 4:30, we are offering composition and orchestration programs in our computer lab. A snack is served when the children arrive at 3:30. From 4:30 to 5, each student can choose their favorite ensemble activity including chorus band or orchestra. Individual 30-minute lessons are scheduled from 5 to 5:30 pm. When your child is not taking an individual lesson, they can work on composition in our computer music lab. Rubato is coordinating with your local district to provide transportation at a nominal additional cost. Herewith, please do us the honor of attending by completing the attached form and returning it to us post haste. Since we are serving refreshments and want to make sure we have enough.All efforts will be expended to make sure you and your daughter enjoy the open house.

Problem 2

The language in the following letter is too stiff and unfriendly. It also contains serious diction and punctuation errors that you should edit and correct. Remember, you need a buffer before delivering the bad news in the first paragraph. Enclose a descriptive booklet and try to persuade the customer that the new model's improvements more than justify the modest $100 increase in price. Also, to make it as easy as possible for the customer to place a new order, be sure to enclose an order form and self-addressed, stamped return envelope. Be sure to use the correct personal title in the inside address and make certain it conforms to the one in the salutation, which, by the way, is incorrect. Miss. is the abbreviation for the state of Mississippi.You are signing this letter as Customer Service Manager. Your assistant is typing the letter for you. His initials are fpj.

The letter is to be sent to Lorraine Pomodoro, 18 Lake Port Street, Fremont, IN 43719 Dear Miss. Pomodoro (be sure to correct the salutation's personal title).

Unfortunately, our entire stock of the Klavier Transposing Keyboard #458 is completely sold out. There was an overwhelming demand for this product, therefore your order can not be filled at this time.

We are herewith enclosing your check for $1,235.58. The good news is that the Klavier Model #993 has just arrived. It has all the features of the 458, but there is also a builtin transposing utility. The 993 costs $1,350. We know you will agree that it is well worth the extra price. If you wish to place another order, please send us a check for 1,451.75.

Problem 3

The following message is much too wordy and has excessive use of the passive voice. See if you can trim the body to under FORTY words. Hint: start with "May I please. . . " Also, be sure to format the a.m. correctly!! There is no personal title in memorandum headings. Your name belongs in the headings. The date of the request should be as specific as possible so that the request is absolutely clear. Make sure that the number in the dates is expressed correctly.

TO: Mr. Malek Saheed

FROM: YOU

DATE:

SUBJECT: ROSEN AUDITORIUM

It is hereby requested that the undersigned be permitted the exclusive use of the Rosen Auditorium on the date of March 6th for a recital of the senior oboe ensemble. Occupancy of this room is desired between the hours of 9 and 10:30a.m. If the subject auditorium is otherwise occupied, notification is desired in order that other arrangements may be made.

Problem 4

Try to rewrite and clarify the following memorandum; it contains stilted language that needs to be made more natural. Also, remember there should be three paragraphs. The memo has too much passive voice. Be sure to create bullets with parallel structure to describe the requirements.Watch the grammatical errorsespecially the mismatched relative pronouns. Add a proper subject line. Remember, the headings are double spaced. Leave a triple space after the subject line.Since it is unlikely that Mr. Blakefield will be requesting a tuition refund, be careful about the use of the pronoun in the sentence preceding the bullets. You have drafted this document for the president's signature; therefore, your reference initials must appear.

TO: Jonathan S. Blakefield, Director of Education

FROM: Marlene Tyreck, President

DATE:

SUBJECT:

The Board of Directors has approved a new policy, enclosed herewith, with reference to tuition refunds to those teachers who take advanced courses in music theory, composition, and conducting. Rubato Music is committed to supporting every teacher who wishes to improve their technique.It is highly recommended that you distribute an individual copy of these guidelines to each teacher under your direct supervision. The following requirements must be met if you wish to receive a refund:

The course must be approved in advance by Joel Rosen

Grade of B or higher

Application received by August 1 for fall courses and January 15 for spring courses

You can of course contact me if you need further information.

Problem 5

The ending of this letter is completely incorrect, since it contains archaic languagespecifically in the last sentence. Try to improve it. You should strive for positive rather than negative language as much as possible. Also, watch the misplaced modifier in the first sentence. Be sure to punctuate the glaring transition punctuation error related to "however" in the second sentence. You are writing this letter for the signature of Jonathan S. Blakefield, Director of Education. Be sure to include your reference initials.

Mr. Mark Ghanribi, 219 East 35th Street New York, NY 10028; Dear Mr. Ghanribi:

Having reviewed more then 50 applications for our digital music instructor, you are our top choice for this exciting opportunity to join our excellent Music Department.

We are ready to invite you to our campus in Bloomington to open discussions about this position however we must first verify that you have completed the course in computer/digital music software applications that you began at SUNY Purchase last September.Unless you provide a current transcript, we can not procede further.

Thanking you in advance, I remain Sincerely yours,

Problem 6

As Customer Service Manager, you just received a letter from Mrs. Norma Trenchard, 478 Palmer Avenue, Apt. #7J, Nashua, NH 03060. Mrs. Trenchard ordered a Sonata Folio #53 that included an instructional CD. The folio arrived last Monday, but the CD is defective. When Mrs. Trenchard loads the CD to her computer, she receives an error message that the files are corrupt. Write to Mrs. Trenchard and explain that you cannot replace her CD, since replacement software must be obtained directly from the publisher. Inform her of the address: Alfred Publishing Customer Service, 2100 North Meadow Highway, Arlington, TX 76006.The address will appear most attractive if you center the text horizontally. The publisher has provided you with postcards that have the replacement code #6871; enclose one of these postcards for Mrs. Trenchard to include in the letter she sends to Alfred; in that way, the CD replacement will be free of charge. Your message to Mrs. Trenchard should reflect your understanding of the "you" attitude as well as the need to build or maintain goodwill. Be sure to add the proper Enclosure notice. You should also wish Mrs. Trenchard many enjoyable hours playing her sonata folio and using the accompanying instructional CD. Watch the format. Remember: you are writing a business letter, not a personal business letter.