ANALYSIS$$Using the Left$$Hand Column to Develop Your Communication Skills

Objective

This analysis will help you identify gaps between what you say and what you think, as well as to help you understand why those gaps occur. You will experience the left$$hand$,$ right$$hand exercise described earlier in this section.

Directions

Do the following:

Identify a difficult conversation that you had with a friend or work colleague involving a problem that you tried to resolve. The conversation may focus on a problem that has since been solved or one that still does not have a usable solution. The key is to find a problem that you were unable to resolve at that time. Try to identify a difficult problem that involved interpersonal difficulties, such as a conflict about how to do an assignment or a disagreement about who should perform different parts of a task.

Write down the approach that you initially took to resolve the problem. What did you talk about? What ideas did you have? What were the interpersonal communication barriers that hindered your ability to resolve the issue? For example, did one of you have a hidden agenda? Were there status differences that created problems? Were there distractions that kept you from being focused on the conversation?

Using a fresh piece of paper, divide the paper in half and write down the actual conversation that occurred on the right$$hand side of the page. You should focus on the words that were actually spoken. If you cannot remember the conversation verbatim, try to remember the key issues that were raised.

On the left$$hand side of the page, write down your thoughts and feelings that were unexpressed during the conversation.

Read and think about what you have written in your left$$hand column. Then answer these questions:

What was it about the situation that led you to feel the way you felt?

What was it about you or the situation that kept you from expressing your thoughts and feelings?

What assumptions did you make about the other person?

What did you lose from keeping certain thoughts and feelings to yourself?

Consider how you might move some of your thoughts and feelings from the left$$hand column to the right$$hand column. Write down one or two specific ideas.