Assignment Basics

The Dear Abby Advice Column assignments ask you to step into the role of famed advice columnist Abigail Van Buren, first penned by Pauline Phillips in 1956 and carried on today by Pauline's daughter, Jeanne Phillips. The linked question (below) from Dear Abby faithful seeking wisdom and insight, and respond in a fashion befitting Dear Abby's casual but firm prose style.

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Sample Dear Abby questions and answers to consider when writing a response.

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Dear Abby Advice Column - Interpersonal Communication

Write the long response that is witty, pithy, to the paragraph below.

Embarrassed in Illinois

DEAR ABBY: My husband is a wonderful man. We've been married 31 years and have been retired for the past six. He takes care of most of the housework, and I work at a part-time job. We have no children or nearby relatives. We are pretty much all we have to depend upon. My only complaint is something that has driven me crazy for years now, and I need your advice. When a certain political candidate was elected, my good-looking husband decided to grow out his hair and beard in protest. I let it slide, but he knew how I felt about it. I figured it would last only a few years. Well, that politician has been out of the office quite a while now, and my husband still looks like Tim Allen in "The Santa Clause." He looks like he's indigent. It's so embarrassing, I don't want to be seen with him. This is a man who was very good-looking. I have begged, pleaded, nagged (his term), and kept quiet, hoping he would surprise me with a haircut. Nothing. I even tried insulting him, telling him his credibility was trash because, obviously, this has nothing to do with his "protest." I am ready to leave. The last straw was when he started quoting Howard Hughes. Do you think my husband has lost it? Because I'm about to.