Case Study # $4$

Read the following conflict narrative and the instructions that follow it$.$

$$My name is Maria. Three months ago, David and I had tickets to see Harry Connick, Jr$.$ in concert. We had just started seeing each other when we bought the tickets and planned to attend the concert together. A few days before the concert, David came to my house late at night to tell me he had a ton of studying to do on the day of the concert. He had a huge midterm on Thursday on which he had to receive an $$A$.$

He made me understand, after hours of continuous explanation, how he really felt it was best to give the tickets to his cousin because he couldn$$t afford not to study the night before the exam. I understood, but I was really bummed out. I sort of wished David would give me the tickets so I could still go to the concert, but he felt it was unfair that I go to the concert while he stayed home and studied. He said that he would make it up to me with something better.

I went over to his house the day after the concert so we could spend some time together and celebrate his test performance. David said, $$Maria$,$ I lied, okay? I said it$.$ I went to the concert. I didn$$t want to tell you. I didn$$t think I would feel this bad about it$.$ I wasn$$t thinking, so I didn$$t tell you that I took Tina instead of you.

$$My jaw dropped to the ground, and all I kept thinking was, $$Why$?$ Why? Why? Tina? Why would you take your ex$$girlfriend instead of me$?$ You promised to take me$.$ What about your test? Was that a lie too?$$ I didn$$t give him a chance to explain; I just told him I couldn$$t accept the fact that he lied to me$,$ that it wasn$$t fair. Then, I stormed out of his place. I wanted so badly for him to realize that the person whom he loved had just walked out the door and was never coming back. I didn$$t want to listen to him. I was so angry that nothing could change the way I felt.

David finally called me and explained to me the real issue that he had avoided telling me all along. He explained that before we started going out, he and Tina had agreed to continue their relationship as friends. He said that he had originally bought the tickets so they could go to the concert together, but then we started dating, and he wasn$$t sure how I would feel about his friendship with Tina. David explained that he didn$$t know what to do$.$ He avoided telling me$,$ thinking I would never find out.

Apply the concepts that you have learned from Chapter $9$ in your responses to the following questions.

$1.$ What are the issues in this conflict? For example, but not limited to tangible$/$intangible and behavioral, personality, relationship, and so on$.$

$/5$

$2.$ Does David$$s behavior constitute a problematic $($embarrassing$)$ situation or a relational transgression? Why?

$/2$

$3.$ Explain how Maria might forgive David but not forget the incident, and not continue the romantic relationship. Please use the steps of forgiveness in your answer.