COMM $1103$: REVISE A DOCUMENT FOR READER ACCESS, EFFECTIVE STYLE, AND TONE $(5\%)$

Instructions

You are the Executive Assistant to Bryan N$.$ who owns Westcoast Janitorial services, located in the Lower Mainland. He is worried about employee turnover. The average employee only stays about seven months; with a requirement for $20$ staff, he has had to hire and train $90$ people every year. At a cost of $$1,500$ per hire, that is $$135,000$ per year. Bryan wants to stop the perception that being a janitor is a dead$-$end job.

What if he were to pay his employees' way through college, if their interested. Can he retain more employees? He has decided to give educational incentives a try. Because Bryan was so excited to get going on the project, you took an old Word doc from some other purpose and quickly drafted the letter over it$.$ But when you read the document, you realize it needs a lot of revising before you are going to show it to Bryan for his approval and signature.

Revise the following excerpt from the letter to all employees about the educational incentives. You do not need to write the entire letter, with address blocks: just re$-$write this one part. This excerpt has problems with recognizing the appropriate audience, organization, paragraphing $($think about using heading and lists$).$ As well as with style $($it$\text{'}$s too wordy and unclear$),$ tone $($lack of consideration for the audience; professionalism$),$ and of course numerous grammar issues that you will need correct in your rewrite.

Hey, cleaning floors dont have to be a deadend job. The new educational programs is open to all employees no matter how long they worked for Westcoast Janitorial services. Beginning in January $2020,$ you could take advantage of the really rad new education program for all employees. If you take advantage of the program, it will reduce our turnover which has been a chronic and ongoing problem with company. So$,$ you are earning free college tuition. And maybe books. The program will allow you to receive free books and tuition to the British Columbia Institute of Technology. There are rules about how many courses you get depending upon how much you work, and you can't compete for shifts just to get more free college credits. So$,$ no erasing someone else from the schedule on the bulletin board, please! Everyone who works at least $10$ hours a week is eligible. If you work $26$ to $40$ hours@week, then you take $3$ courses, $25-16$ hours, two courses, ten$-15$ per week, one free course and if you work less than ten hours a week, you get zero course. Which is fair. The program is open to all employees, regardless of how long you've worked at Westcoast Janitorial services, so if you worked at the old location on Kingsway even. Those who participate will continue to earn your usual salare for the time you work. We mean, you won't be