Expressing Emotions Guidelines

1. Recognize Feelings
2. Recognize difference between feeling, talking, acting
3. Expand emotional vocabulary
4. Share multiple feelings
5. Consider, when Where to express feelings
6. Accept responsibility for feelings (I language)
7. Anchor in the present
8. Identify the reason
9. Describe what, if anything, you want the listener to do

Background: Husband complains that he needs a new phone, but they don't have money to pay for it. The wife asks her mother to take out a new plan and let them add a phone and just pay the add on fee. The mother searches the internet and finds a plan, but it will take two weeks to get the new phone. The wife finds she can get the same deal at Wal-Mart. She asks her husband what color of phone he wants, and he says it doesn't matter he just needs a phone. The next day for some reason Wal-Mart cannot give her the phone. She must return the next day. Meanwhile the husband is complaining that he needs a phone. Finally, after about 4 days she gets a red flat face phone (only kind they had at the time). She comes home and the husband rants and raves about how stupid it was to get him red flat face phone and complains about how long it has taken. The wife responds by saying the following:

"That is a bunch of XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!

"You make me feel like XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!

Change the statements above into appropriate expressions of emotion.

Rewrite the following statements into statements that fit the guidelines.

1. You are so arrogant.

1. You embarrassed me in front of my friends.

1. You made me look stupid.

1. You're so inconsiderate.

1. You are so loving.