I need help making revisions. I set on suggesting mode so I can get an idea of how to improve.

Doc Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BKxZ1_zwz_D7VGpXBvlb-73YvSamSW_lRWEOYmgTsS8/edit?usp=sharing

Salem Feedback:

Overall Feedback Lots of extra spaces here. Please remaove these for the portfolio. Missing the central question. Annotations are somewhat brief. Provide stronger descriptions of content. As you consider impact here, think about the impact that Washington had on the office of President. Rubric Name: Annotated Bibliography Criteria Document Formatting Quality of Sources Source Selection Source Formatting & Annotations Source Formatting w/ Accurate i Descriptive Annotations Level 4 10 points The owerall document is formatted carrectly Lewel 4 20 points All sources represent scholarly content and can contribute to owverall project. Lewvel 4 70 points All sources are formatted correctly and include accurate and well-written descriptions of the contents of each SOLUNCE., Level 3 8 points Cinly minaor issues in formatting [spacing) Level 3 15 polnts Most sources reflect schalarly content and can contribute to the research project. Level 3 &0 podnits Minimal formatting issues noted in multiple sources. May include 1-2 spacing issues, hanging indentations, extra lines. The annotations are mastly well-written and descriptive. One-two sources may include general annatations or may lack enough description to determine the value of the contents of the source. Level 2 & polnts Two or more formatting issues within the document Level 2 10 polnts Sources include 1-2 academic sources, but also include sources of questionzble content. Some sources may not offer much scholarly support for project Lewvel 2 50 points One-two major izsues with source formatting. Sources may also be out or order. Mumerous extra spaces throughout the doecument. Annotations are somewhat general or may be poorly edited. Level 1 4 points Multiple issues with document formatting including spacing, MLA header, page numbers. Level 1 5 points Sources are lacking credibility or are few {less than six) in number. Level 1 A0 palnts Multiple major issues with formatting sources and creating accurate, descriptive annotations. Some sources may lack annotations altogether. A submission in this range does not reflect the formatting of the sample provided for students. Lewvel 0 0 polnts Mo attempt to follow formatting guidelines. Level 0 0 poknits Bibliography includes 3 or fewer sources of questionable academic merit. Level O 30 pasnits Minimal or no source annotations included. All source entries are formatted incorrectly. = Frint Criterion Score &6/10 Criterion Soore 20/ 20 Criterlon Score 58/70 Overall Feedback See the scoring breakdown above and my suggestions for revision below. In Maodule 5, you will find a document that outlines how to format your final portfolio document. Please be sure to review this material as you complete your portfolio. Remove the extra spaces on the Works Cited page. Align your source entry's first line on the left margin. These all appear to be indented from the left. For the title of this pivotal speech, use italics. When abhreviating for paragraph use par. Adjust in the in-text citations throughout. Use mare direct quotes from the address in your paper. When citing sources, you do not use publication dates in the (). Thisis APA style. Please use the page number of paragraph number. Adjust accordingly. You've got a good overview of impact here, David. You mention many aspects of the speech that outlined suggestions or offered warnings to future leaders. As you revise this document, think of ways you can develop your content to show how the chaices our leaders have made helped to ultimately confirm Washington's wisdom. Work on sentence level polish throughout, looking for opportunities to polish phrasing and / or word choice. Be sure to correct the citation formatting as mentioned above. Structural Elements Thesis Grammar / Mechanics / Language Usage / Punctuation MLA Formatting Works Cited Level 5 20 points Demonstrates a clear and compelling thesis and / or controlling idea. o Uses rhetarically appropriate language that skillfully communicatesmean ing to readers with clarity and fluency that is virtually error free. Consistently uses in-text citations and adheres to the style of a clear citation methad with wirtuzlly no errors. Includes a correctly formatted Works Cited page and wirtually no errors. At least four academic sources are utilized in the essay. All sources qualify as academic sources with credible authors / information. Level 4 15 polnts Demonstrates an adeguate thesis and / ar controlling idea. Uses maostly rhetorically appropriate language to communicate meaning to readers; prose is muosthy clear and fluent with anly a few errors that do not distract from ME3NINE. ) Consistently uses in-text citations and mostly adhering to the style of a clear citation method with minimal ermors. Includes a Warks Cited page but with minimal errors. Four SOUTCEes are include. and cited within the essay. One source may be of questionable academic merit. Level 3 10 palnts Demonstrates some awareness of a thesis and / or controlling idea. Uses some rhetorically appropriate language to communicate meaning to readers: prose is somewhat clear and / or fluent with some errors that could distract from meaning. Consistently uses in-text citations and somewhat adheres to the style of a clear citation method but with several ErTors. v Includes Warks Cited page with at least four sources and annotations. Multiple formatting errors may be observed. More than one source provides only questionable academic merit. Leel 2 5 points Demonstrates an unclear thesis and ! or controlling idea. Uses language that sometimes impedes meaning and / oris rhetorically inzapproprizte and includes many errors that undermine clarity and / or fluency. Inconsistently uses in-text citations of an indizcernible citation (non MLA) method. Includes a Works Cited page but may be missing ane or mare credible sources. . Level 1 0 poinits Demonstrates no discernible thesis and / or controlling idea. Uses lanpuage that consistently impedes [ distracts from the meaning and undermines the rhetorical situation with rampant errors throughout. Virtually no use of in-text citations or the style of a citation method Does not include 2 Works Cited page. N clear source list is praovided for the final essay. Criterlon Score 20/20 16 /20 10/ 20 16 /20 Organization / Content Organization Reading Competencies Content Development Level 5 40 points Organizational structure effectively and logically supports the rhetorical purpose, all paragraphs are unified and coherent, effective transitions clearly Level 4 30 points Organizational structure is evident and mostly supports rhetorical purpose in a logical manner; paragraphs are mostly unified and coherent and some transitions are guide the present to help audience. guide the audience, v Demonstrates Demaonstrates proficiency in comprehending content from saurces through effective paraphrases, summary, and / ar direct quotes, including sophisticated critical synthesis of source content. Essay effectively presents student theory regarding topic. Content includes clear explication of topic, background, development and argument for student theary. mostly adept camprehension of content from sources through effective paraphrase, summary, and / or direct quotes, including critical synthesis of source content. v Essay presents student's theory regarding topic. Content includes a mostly clear explication of the topic, but may contain gaps in background development or presentation of reasoning to support theory. Level 3 20 points Organizational structure exists to support rhetorical purpose; paragraphs are somewhat unified and coherent; some awareness of audience is present. Demonstrates some comprehension of source content through somewhat effective paraphrases, summary, and / or direct quote, including same evidence of synthesis of source content. Essay attempts or suggests the presence of a theory regarding topic, but writer does not adequately develop the theory. Essay includes significant deficiencies in background, reasoning and may be under developed in terms of overall length. Level 2 10 points Organizational structure is unclear and does not support rhetorical purpose:; paragraphs. are present but not consistently coherent, vague evidence of audience awareness. Demonstrates vague comprehension of source content through largely ineffective paraphrase, summary, or direct quote, including same evidence of synthesis of source content. Essay only vaguely addresses the concept of a theory regarding subject. Essay may contain mostly background on summary of sources. Essayis significantly underdeveloped in regard to content. Level 1 Criterion 0 points Score Organizational structure distracts 40 / 40 from rhetorical purpose; paragraphs are not unified or coherent; no evidence of audience awareness is observed. Demonstrates no 36 /40 evidence of reading comprehension of source content in source integration or synthesis, Essay is a summary of sources or a report on topic. Mo theory is evident. Essay does not meet 36 /40 minimum requirements regarding length. Essay may have significant gaps with regard to developing content, and the dralt may appear as unfinished. Remove the extra spaces throughout the document. Continue to work on the sentence level to create more polished prose. Good use of the evidence here. Look for opportunities to offer even more of your own analysis of the points. Score 46-5=41 Rubric Name: Module 2 Critical Analysis Essay Level 5 Level 4 Level 3 100 % 90 % 80 % The essay is well- The essay is well- The essay is written and organized and mastly well- includes a strang thesis that is supported by evaluations of key standards: content, tone/mood, readability, overall impression. The essay contains specilic evidence from the source that supports key standards. There are no major jssues with grammar or mechanics. The Works Cited page is included and is correct or contains only minor errors. well-written. It includes a strong thesis and provides discussion of all of the key standards noted in the prompt. Evidence is present but may not be clearly tied to the thesis. Minor issues with grammar and mechanics are present. The Woarks Cited page is included but contains NUMErous errors. organized and the writing shows strong analytical polential. The thesis is present and includes a judgment but may be more general in scope. The key supporting standards are addressed but lack clear evidence from the article. Several grammatical errors, including 1- 2 major errors, are present. A Works Cited page is included but no attempt has been made to format the source. Level 2 70% The essay shows potential, but the thesis is vague and does not include a clear statement of judgment. The essay may lack development particularly in terms of the analysis of the supporting standards. Evidence from the article is lacking throughout. Several major / minor issues with grammar may be present. No Works Cited page is included. a Print Level 1 Level 0 Criterion 60 % 0% Score This essay does Mo subrmission 20 /100 not meet the standards for a passing score. The essay may be too brief, may lack a clear thesis, may not include analysis of the key supporting points [standards). No clear judgment is evident. This D level essay may also focus mostly on summary rather than evaluation. Numerous issues with grammar, phrasing, and punctuation may also be present. Feedback for Topic Proposal / Preliminary Sources / Research Conference Submission Feedback Overall Feedback Alphabetize your sources by author's last name. All else here is fine. Feedback for Research Rough Draft / Outline Submission Feedback QOverall Feedback Review citation format. Remember author - page number. | don't know what format you are using for the Washington citation on page twao. If you are referring to the Farewell Address list as ("Farewell Address") and identify specific paragraph. Score 18 /20-90% Overall Feedback See the rubric comments and scoring above. Specific comments regarding your draft are included below in this feedback box. Good job with your thesis, David. Your content serves to support the thesis well. | do think the essay could benefit from references to specific documents, but your analysis here is quite good. Continue to work on the sentence level to polish phrasing and diction. Rubric Name: Short Argument Essay - So What Happened in Salem? Level 5 50 % This essay established a strong and clearly stated thesis. The supporting paragraphs offer concrete support and detailed explanations that help to support the writer's theory. The essay is formatted correctly, and only minimal (2-3) minor errors in punctuation may be noted in the final draft. Score 47 /50 - 94 % Level 4 40 % The essay includes a strong thesis and solid support. While some of the content could be further developed, the essay is well- written. It reflects strong attention to both formatting and grammar / mechanics. Level 3 30% The essay includes a focused thesis, but may not sufficiently support the thesis. The content may include tangents or digressions that move away from the focus of the prompt. The essay may include minimal formatting issues / grammatical issues. Level 2 20% The essay only minimally addresses the prompt. The thesis lacks concrete support. The essay may also include several issues with formatting and / or grammar and mechanics. = Print Level 1 Level O Criterion 10 % 0% Score The essay does Mo submission 40 / 100 not meet the stated requirements for organization and length and does not sufficiently address the prompt