Radical Rewrite: Improving a Message About Checking References Step 1: Identify five or more weaknesses describing why each is a weakness. In addition to grammar faults, pay special attention to dangling modifiers, parallelism, and passive voice. Step 2: Revise this e-mail so that it reflects writing techniques you learned in this and previous chapters.

To: All Supervisors and Departmental Managers

From: Veronica Dunaway

Subject: Dangerous Employee Performance Evaluations

Dear Team,

This is something I hate to do, but I must warn you that recently one of our employees filed a lawsuit against the company because of comments a supervisor made during a performance evaluation. This did not have to happen. Look, people, you must do better! Because none of you are dense, here are suggestions you must observe when making evaluations of employees: You cannot accurately evaluate an employees performance unless you have a system to measure that performance. Thats why the obvious very first step is developing performance standards and goals for each employee. To be effective, these standards and goals must be shared with the employee. However, dont do it orally. Do it in writing. The performance of each employee must be monitored throughout the year. Keep a log for each worker. Note memorable inci-dents or projects in which he was involved. But dont just keep favorable comments. I know that many of you are understandably averse to placing negative comments in an employees file. However, MAN UP! Even negative comments must be included as part of the evaluation process. Once a year each employee must be formally evaluated in a written performance appraisalyes, I do mean written! In a face-to-face meeting, let the employee know what you think they did well and what areas the employee may be able to improve. Be specific, give deadlines, be honest, and be realistic.