To: 3.1 Radical Rewrite: Improving a Message About Checking References Your Task. Analyze the following e-mail to be sent by the vice president of human resources to all managers. Identity at least five weaknesses. In addition to grammar faults, pay special attention to dangling modifiers, parallelism, and passive voice. All Managers From: Mark Sanchez Subject: Improving Reference-Checking Procedures With our recent increase in hiring, many of you are reviewing candidates' applications and their references are being checked. Our CEO has asked me to provide all managers with guidance on how to check references to obtain the best information. Generally, the two ways to check references are by calling or to make an inquiry by writing. Calling is preferred because its easier, can be done more quickly, and calling can reveal more. The main advantage of calling is that people will often provide more valuable information over the phone then they would in writing. However writing does provide stronger documentation, which can be used to prove that you did your homework. References from former employers are likely to be more valuable than personal references, and can help avoid negligent hiring claims. Educational references should also checked when necessary When calling to check references, several important steps should be followed to obtain the best information: . . Call once to schedule the reference check, then call back when you said you would Plenty of time for the call should be allotted Ask only about job-related information, do not ask inappropriate questions. Good notes should be taken, especially in relation to the candidate's former employment. At the end, you should summarize and thank the reference for the information By following these guidelines, meaningful information can be obtained that will help you make the best hiring decisions . Mark Vice President, Human Resources i mark.sanchez@zycamindustries Office: 455-390-5539 | Cell: 455 BODY FITNESS TRAINING MASSAGE WELLNESS 3392 Econlockhatchee Trail, Orlando FL 32822 (407) 551-8791 June 4, 2019 Mr. Allen C. Fineberg 3250 Ponciana Way Palm Beach Gardens, FL 33410 Dear Mr. Fineburg You probably choose Body Fitness because it has became one of the top-rated gyms in the Palm Beach area. Making your work out enjoyable has always been our principal goal. To continue to provide you with the best equipment and programs, your feedback is needed by my partner and myself. we have build an outstanding program with quality equipment, excellent training programs, and our support staff is very helpful. We feel, however, that we could have a more positive affect and give more individual attention if we could extend our peak usage time. You have probable noticed that attendance at the gym raises from 4p.m. to 8p.m. We wish it was possible to accommodate all our customers on their favorite equipment during those hours. Although we can't stretch an hour. We would like to make better use of the time between 8 p.m. and 11 p.m. With more members' coming later, we would have less crush from 4 to 8 p.m. Our exercise machines and strength-training equipment is lying idle later in the evening To encourage you to stay later, security cameras for our parking area are being considered by us. Cameras for some inside facilitys may also be added. We have gave this matter a great deal of thought. Although Body Fitness have never had an incident that endangered a member. We have went to considerable trouble to learn about security cameras. Because we think that you will feel more comfortable with them in action Please tell us what you think, fill out the enclosed questionnaire, and drop it in the ballot box during your next visit at the desk we are asking for your feedback about scheduling your workouts, selecting your equipment, and if you would consider coming later in the evening. if you have any other suggestions for reducing the crush at peak times. Please tell us on the enclosed form. Cordially, To: 3.1 Radical Rewrite: Improving a Message About Checking References Your Task. Analyze the following e-mail to be sent by the vice president of human resources to all managers. Identity at least five weaknesses. In addition to grammar faults, pay special attention to dangling modifiers, parallelism, and passive voice. All Managers From: Mark Sanchez Subject: Improving Reference-Checking Procedures With our recent increase in hiring, many of you are reviewing candidates' applications and their references are being checked. Our CEO has asked me to provide all managers with guidance on how to check references to obtain the best information. Generally, the two ways to check references are by calling or to make an inquiry by writing. Calling is preferred because its easier, can be done more quickly, and calling can reveal more. The main advantage of calling is that people will often provide more valuable information over the phone then they would in writing. However writing does provide stronger documentation, which can be used to prove that you did your homework. References from former employers are likely to be more valuable than personal references, and can help avoid negligent hiring claims. Educational references should also checked when necessary When calling to check references, several important steps should be followed to obtain the best information: . . Call once to schedule the reference check, then call back when you said you would Plenty of time for the call should be allotted Ask only about job-related information, do not ask inappropriate questions. Good notes should be taken, especially in relation to the candidate's former employment. At the end, you should summarize and thank the reference for the information By following these guidelines, meaningful information can be obtained that will help you make the best hiring decisions . Mark Vice President, Human Resources i mark.sanchez@zycamindustries Office: 455-390-5539 | Cell: 455 BODY FITNESS TRAINING MASSAGE WELLNESS 3392 Econlockhatchee Trail, Orlando FL 32822 (407) 551-8791 June 4, 2019 Mr. Allen C. Fineberg 3250 Ponciana Way Palm Beach Gardens, FL 33410 Dear Mr. Fineburg You probably choose Body Fitness because it has became one of the top-rated gyms in the Palm Beach area. Making your work out enjoyable has always been our principal goal. To continue to provide you with the best equipment and programs, your feedback is needed by my partner and myself. we have build an outstanding program with quality equipment, excellent training programs, and our support staff is very helpful. We feel, however, that we could have a more positive affect and give more individual attention if we could extend our peak usage time. You have probable noticed that attendance at the gym raises from 4p.m. to 8p.m. We wish it was possible to accommodate all our customers on their favorite equipment during those hours. Although we can't stretch an hour. We would like to make better use of the time between 8 p.m. and 11 p.m. With more members' coming later, we would have less crush from 4 to 8 p.m. Our exercise machines and strength-training equipment is lying idle later in the evening To encourage you to stay later, security cameras for our parking area are being considered by us. Cameras for some inside facilitys may also be added. We have gave this matter a great deal of thought. Although Body Fitness have never had an incident that endangered a member. We have went to considerable trouble to learn about security cameras. Because we think that you will feel more comfortable with them in action Please tell us what you think, fill out the enclosed questionnaire, and drop it in the ballot box during your next visit at the desk we are asking for your feedback about scheduling your workouts, selecting your equipment, and if you would consider coming later in the evening. if you have any other suggestions for reducing the crush at peak times. Please tell us on the enclosed form. Cordially