Read the dialogue exchange between college roommates, Jill and Rachel.  Then provide one example of meaning from the dialogue of the conflict and discuss how that meaning could have been explained using the Coordinated Management of Meaning Theory. (Coordinated Management of Meaning (CMM) (Pearce & Cronen, 1980) posits that conflicts and responses to interactions are shaped by personal and relational history. The focus here is on explaining how we manage and coordinate meanings and actions with others. The theory posits that our interpretations of others and their behavior are shaped by:

• Context (the setting of the communication or exchange)
• Nature of the relationship (the type of relationship I have with the other party. Exs: romantic partner, boss, stranger, friend, parent, etc.)
• Self-concept (what I think about myself)
• Culture (the culture I was brought up in and the cultural patterns, beliefs, and values that I was taught through this culture)
• It also states that meaning is always unique (my meaning is not like anyone else's).)

Dialogue:

 

Jill: What's going on between us?

Rachel: I don't know. What do you mean?

Jill: I mean why won't you talk to me anymore? You won't even say "Good morning" to me when you walk past me in the hall.

Rachel: I didn't realize I was supposed to talk. Sorry.

Jill: Were you planning on not talking to me for the rest of the year and leaving without ever seeing me again?

Rachel: That was not what I meant to do...but I figured, why bother saying anything? Every time I open my mouth, I get a sarcastic remark back. I just didn't need that anymore, so I shut up.

Jill: I'm sorry, but I was hurt, and the way I handled it was by getting defensive and making sarcastic remarks. I didn't really mean to hurt you.  

Rachel: Well, you did. 

Jill: Well, you hurt me too, and I didn't know what to do.

Rachel: How did I hurt you?

Jill: I didn't like it when you made fun of my eating habits, like eating oatmeal five times a day. I also didn't appreciate it when you would make fun of my exercising or my big butt. How would you like it if I started teasing you about your thighs?

Rachel: Jill, I had no idea you were so upset about those remarks. Why didn't you tell me this a long time ago? It certainly would've saved a lot of hurt feelings and resentment.

Jill: I figured you would stop making them sooner or later. I thought you would realize you were hurting my feelings.

Rachel: Jill, how could I? You were always going along with me and even making fun of yourself. Do you think if I had known I was hurting you I would have continued?  I'm not that mean.

Jill: I know you're not, and I'm sorry I made so many rude remarks when I was hurt.  I really want to get things straightened out between us. Doesn't our friendship mean anything to you?

Rachel: Yes it means something to me, but I didn't think it meant anything to you. I've been feeling really hurt lately by your behavior with Tina.  I feel like you guys just run off and forget that I even exist.  You are always doing everything together without including me.  I figured she was just more important to you than me. Therefore, I would just finish out the year and go home and let you have each other.  I felt like I wasn't needed anymore. 

Jill: I feel bad that you felt this way.  I realize I have been spending a lot of time with Tina, but you've been pretty busy with your boyfriend.  I didn't think you had much time for me either. 

Rachel: Yes, I have been spending a lot of time with my boyfriend, but that doesn't mean I don't need your friendship too. We have been friends for quite a while and it was hard for me to see you turn away like you did. I started spending so much time with my boyfriend because of that. 

Jill: I'm not rejecting you as a friend or picking Tina over you.  It just so happened that Tina and I have a lot in common and we have fun together. We really didn't think you wanted to do everything with us.  

Rachel: You're right, I probably wouldn't have, But I felt like you didn't need me as a friend anymore.

Jill: Well you're wrong, I still value our friendship. I hope we can keep it going. 

Rachel: I feel better for having talked it over. I'm sorry for having hurt you.

Jill: I'm sorry too-I hope you can forgive Tina and me somehow.

Rachel: I think I can.