Reflecting on privilege and power, when it comes to using the $N-$word and the debate about who gets to use the word and who gets to "police" it's usage, it is argued that it is important to:

Enact formal punishments based on intentional use of the word by everyone based on hate speech laws

Understand the different contexts and the ways in which the word may be received differently based on the historical use of the word to demean and it's meaning reclaiming within black culture.

Be authentic to you no matter who you offend

Words are just symbols and don't have any real power so it's a moot point