Valeria Arteaga lived in the town of Kannasew. Valeria was well-known for living for attention, as some

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Valeria Arteaga lived in the town of Kannasew. Valeria was well-known for living for attention, as some might say. Growing up, she wanted everyone to know her name and would go great lengths to get their attention. Even as a student in elementary school, Valeria would spread rumors of grandeur about herself until they spread like wildfire. From a very young age, everyone in town knew Valeria would somehow become famous. The story of how she came to fame is one that cannot easily be forgotten.

FAMILY TIES Everyone knows that a child's upbringing is fundamental to their development and that was very evident regarding Valeria's life. Her parents were characters...to say the least. Mr. and Mrs. Arteaga were the owners of "Joe Mama's Coffee," a well-known coffee shop in their small town. They seemed just like any other picture-perfect family from the outside looking in...but no family is truly perfect. On one slow morning at Joe Mama's, Mrs. Arteaga decided to take it upon herself to gain some new customers. She decided to send Valeria to the Starcoin Coffee a few blocks over and for her to take some Joe Mama's (or is it Joe Mama's's) promotional "BOGO Free Coffee" coupons with her. She ordered Valeria to stand right in front where all the cars go through the fancy drive-thru and hand the coupons out to each customer that enters. Before she knew it, she was out of all 150 coupons and Starcoin was a ghost town. Arteaga was waiting ever so patiently down the street for all those new customers. She made sure to casually tell them that "Starcoin uses the lowest grade of coffee beans, harvested using slave labor." Next thing you knew, Starcoin magically had no customers. Arteaga family's rep around town as well as Joe Mama's profits reached new heights for the next few years. By the time Valeria was in high school, she had decided the town was too small for her giant ego and decided that the only way she would ever get her family out of that armpit of a hometown would be if she stirred things up a bit. Having decided that "enough is enough, she went to school the next day and slips a note on the desk of the school's biggest gossip, Kathy (who was indeed the chattiest kathy). When Kathy got to class, she opened the note that read: "THE ARTEAGA FAMILY IS FILING FOR BANKRUPTCY, AND JOE MAMA'S IS NOT GONNA SURVIVE!" Kathy's jaw dropped, and she immediately started texting (chatting) with a boy she with whom had been talking (yadda, yadda, yadda). As you would expect, by noon, the whole school knew the "business" about the Arteaga Family and its business.

COLLEGE YEARS As Valeria got older, her parents hoped she would be less of an attention seeker, but that simply was not the case. She enrolled at Kannasew State University, a nearby institution of higher education that boasted a student population of more than 43,000; this would allow Valeria to stay close to home and "save some money"...to help make the bankruptcy rumor more believable, of course. Plus, 43,000 poor saps would almost be enough new fans to feed her ego. She decided to join the well-known sorority, Sigma Apple Pie, and wanted to pursue a degree in Political Science in hopes of one day having the whole country know her. To the casual observer, Valeria seemed to have it all together, but that's just not her style. At Kannasew State, Valeria was well-known on campus and her reputation was much due to the rumors about herself that she spread. Valeria also found a boyfriend, Bradford, who was a bit of a questionable individual in many people's eyes. He was a member of the Theta Guy fraternity on campus. They were simply a match made in heaven. Like many young college students, the couple headed out to a party one Saturday night. While at the party, Bradford started to get pretty worked up during what seemed like a civil conversation about his fantasy football league with a fellow frat brother. One thing led to another, and Bradford yelled "NOT COOL, BRO!!!!" and chucks a bottle of beer at the brother in question's forehead. Bro ducks, as any logical person would do and he walks away from the argument without a scratch but vouches that Bradford is the one who is "so not cool, bro." Valeria, who was just a few feet away having a conversation with some of her friends, was not as lucky. When Bro ducked it just so happened that Bradford's girlfriend that he "loves so dearly" was standing in the direct line of the beer bottle and next thing you know, Valeria is hit with the bottle right on the side of her head. Bradford, being the lovely and caring gentleman he is, swoops up his beloved girlfriend, Valeria, and rushes her home, telling her that she must've drank too much, and he didn't know what could've possibly happened to get that huge lump on her head. Bradford never told her what actually happened and still to this day claims it wasn't because of him.

BEFORE VALERIA, THERE WAS MAGGIE SUE Valeria was not the first gal at Kannasew State to catch Bradford's eye. Before Valeria, there was a brief albeit memorable night spent with Maggie Sue, a shy girl who sat near the front of their BLAW 2200 class. (Bradford heard Maggie Sue was on her way towards earning an "A"in Ol' Man Altom's course whereas Bradford, who could barely see Maggie Sue from where he sat in the back of the classroom, was earning a...well, let's not talk about that. Now, back to that oh so memorable night Bradford spent with Maggie Sue...) A mutual friend set Bradford and Maggie Sue up on a not so blind date. They went to an Italian restaurant on Canton Street in Roswell. Bradford insisted on picking the restaurant as well as his seat facing the door. (Maggie Sue wondered whether Bradford could be in the Mafia.) Maggie Sue quickly got over Bradford's lack of chivalry when she realized that it was the Friday night before she was to run the Oak Tree Street Marathon on Sunday morning. Bradford ordered a side salad, hold the lettuce, no dressing. (Weird, Maggie Sue thought.) Maggie Sue, seeing it was her chance to carbo load before her big run, ordered a double order of extra hot spaghetti with marinara and meatballs. After a brief conversation about the Second Test in their BLAW class (Maggie Sue did not disclose she made a 119.75% inclusive of scale, bonus, and extra credit points, but Bradford exclaimed, "We had a Second Test already! When?"), the server came to serve their respective plates. Holding the tray with his left hand, the server, with his right hand, sat Bradford's "veggie bowl" in front of him. Then, the server, crouching like a tiger, attempted in one motion to slide the double order of extra hot spaghetti with marinara and meatballs from the tray to the table in front of Maggie Sue. At that very second, the server lost it (that is, the double order of extra hot spaghetti with marinara and meatballs, which slid off the plate hitting Maggie Sue up around her neck and sliding ever so slowly down to her knees. Needless to say, there would be no marathon running for Maggie Sue; instead, skin grafts-and a lot of them-were in her immediate future. As she was carried away on a stretcher from the restaurant to the waiting ambulance to be transported to the hospital, despite her pain, Maggie Sue clearly heard someone say, "It wasn't the server's fault: A jerk in a Toyota Prius cut off a Marta Bus that had to bunny hop the curb, coming to a halt just before hitting the restaurant." That must have been what distracted the server, Maggie Sue thought, sending the double order of extra hot spaghetti with marinara and meatballs careening into her lap like a skier coming down the Swiss Alps, except it was extra hot, not like frozen snow. During the next eight long, painful weeks in the hospital, Maggie Sue was fixated on three questions: (1) Why did Bradford love his "veggie bowl" more than her? (He never stopped eating to provide Maggie Sue aid and comfort in her time of agony); (2) Would Professor Altom allow her to complete the course assignments? (He seems tough, but a few people claim he is actually a bit soft); and (3) What would a reasonable server have done in the same or similar circumstance?

VALERIA FOR PRESIDENT After her time at Kannasew State, Valeria pursued a career in politics (just so EVERYONE would know her). With her political science degree safely buckled in the passenger seat of her black Mini-Cooper with double yellow racing stripes, she moved to Washington D.C. to really make a name for herself. Her still lovely and amazing boyfriend, Bradford, stuck around because he dropped out of college to pursue his big dreams of being a "Master Marijuana Extractor'' (you can fill in the gaps) and decided he would "do Valeria a favor" by moving with her to D.C. Their life postgrad obviously looked as if it would be butterflies, rainbows, and honeysuckle. When Valeria got to Washington, she quickly moved up the ranks and became the talk of the town...per usual. Within a year of being there, having made plenty of connections, she ran for President. One would hope Valeria would finally want to use her fame for the betterment of others and get there in an honest way. Valeria's campaign focused on the idea that a woman could run the country better than a man. As one would imagine, that did not go over well with men who to her later surprise comprise one-half of the voting population. Who knew? Excited to go out for her first rally, Valeria could hardly wait to see all of her supporters. She waited in the lobby of her Five Star hotel, ready for her time to shine. The stage had been set up hours before and Valeria did not want to waste a single second. Valeria confidently takes the stage a bit early. She looks out over the crowd, expecting to be filled with beautiful, admiring, empowered women. Instead, it was filled with overweight, jobless, angry men with a whole lot to say. Before she could even get a word out, the men booed her and began chanting, "We won't be oppressed!" Others held disparaging signs that read things like, "Valeria is nuttin' more than a small town nobody," "Who's heard of Kannasew State anyway?," and "We'd rather have Bradford than Valeria." Valeria, who rarely thinks before she speaks, blurts out on the microphone, "Pfft, the men just don't know anything..." and at that moment she was given the wrath of all these men. Valeria doesn't even have time to think before she has trash and other objects being slung at her on the stage. The rage-filled men begin throwing proverbial and literal tomatoes, rocks, water bottles, and any objects they could find that could potentially hurt her. As objects are being flown, Valeria ducks behind her podium when suddenly one of the huge stage lights comes crashing down across the stage, barely missing her. Little did she know, her boyfriend Bradford was actually the one who threw that rock because secretly he felt his girlfriend was gaining "too much power" and it just "so wasn't fair that he had to quit his dream job because it's illegal." The water bottle that was thrown hits a large extension cord that immediately begins to smoke and sets a fire that soon spreads to the surrounding area. The rock hits the top half of the light fixture that comes crashing down, almost hitting Valeria. It turns out, the reason she was able to go on early was because the crew that set up the stage rushed through the setup and failed to twist on the fixtures properly. When one pole fell, it rolled into another, and another which eventfully rolled into the men in the crowd, leaving many injured. Luckily, Valeria was able to escape without any injuries, but the rally was broadcasted on TV and, oh, did she make everyone know who she was. It is safe to say, Valeria was not elected the first woman president, but she did indeed fulfill her dream of being known on a large scale...whether it was for better or for worse. Disclaimer: Any similarities in names or characteristics of actual persons—natural or legal—is entirely coincidental as what is presented here is intended to be purely fictional. Nothing contained herein is stated with reference to a particular individual or entity and, therefore, cannot be construed as defamation or disparagement.

1.) Identify and analyze each actual or plausible claim that anyone has or may have against any other individual or entity—whether criminal,

2.) For each claim identified and analyzed, assess whether the party is likely to be successful asserting the claim. You must carefully and accurately identify and analyze (i.e., completely yet concisely discuss (explain) and assess (evaluate)), each actual or plausible offense that either is committed or may have been committed. An actual offense is an offense that is committed because each (and every) one of its elements is satisfied based upon the relevant facts provided in the Fact Pattern/Scenario above including any reasonable inferences therefrom whereas a plausible offense is an offense that is arguably a "close call" with respect to whether it is committed yet you ultimately conclude it is not committed because one (or more) of its elements is not satisfied based upon relevant facts provided in the Fact Pattern/Scenario above including any reasonable inferences therefrom. You must utilize all the relevant concepts as presented (1) in the relevant portions of our textbook, and (2) during Class Sessions.

For each actual offense, you must accurately, concisely, and clearly:

1.) State and describe the nature and character of each such offense (i.e., whether each such offense gives rise to criminal culpability, civil liability or both);

2.) Identify and explain by whom and against whom each such offense is committed: Each offender (the offending party) and each victim (the offended party); and 3.) Identify each element of each such offense and completely explain how each element is satisfied (i.e., you must identify each element of the offense and state how each element is met by referencing relevant facts that demonstrate how each element is met); in other words, you must carefully and accurately identify and analyze, i.e., completely yet concisely discuss (explain) and assess (evaluate) the character of the offense (i.e., each and every one of the elements of each such offense and how each element is satisfied).

For each plausible offense, you must accurately, concisely, and clearly:

1.) State and completely describe the nature and character of each such offense (i.e., whether each such offense gives rise to criminal culpability, civil liability or both);

2.) Identify and completely explain by whom and against whom each such offense is committed: Each "would-be" (i.e., possible/potential) offender (the offending party) and each "would-be" (i.e., possible/potential) victim (the offended party);

3.) Identify each element of each such offense and completely explain how each element is (or is not) satisfied (i.e., you must identify each element of the offense and state how each element is (or is not) met by referencing relevant facts that demonstrate how each element is (or is not) met); in other words, you must carefully and accurately identify and analyze, i.e., completely yet concisely discuss (explain) and assess (evaluate) the character of the offense (i.e., each and every one of the elements of each such offense and whether and, if so, how each element is (or is not) satisfied).