Think about a situation you may have been avoiding. Use the steps in Figure 5 to prepare yourself to have a difficult conversation. Before choosing a time and place, talk with a partner about your responses to the first set of questions. How do you feel about scheduling the conversation? What, if anything, is holding you back? What other work can you do to be fully prepared?

 Figure 5

E Prepare Yourself What is the situation or problem that you need to address? What do you hope to accomplish? Be specific about the ideal outcome. What assumptions do you have about this situation or about the person? Which of these assumptions do you need to confirm or clarify? What could be the reasons for the behavior from the other person's perspective? In other words, could you be wrong about some of your interpretations? Does the person have good intentions even if the behavior is a problem? How might you, intentionally or unintentionally, be contributing to the situation? Be careful about blaming others without examining your own responsibility. How do you think the person might respond? Prepare for a few possible reactions. Choose a Time and Setting When could be a good time for you and for the other person to discuss the situation? When will you have enough time and space, so you are not rushed or distracted by other meetings or issues? Allow for extra time in case the conversation runs long. Are you ready to listen openly to another point of view? If you are not ready, postpone the conversation until you are. Ask for permission to start the conversation. You might say something like, "I'd like to talk with you about something sensitive (or difficult). Is now an okay time?" or "I like to talk about When is a good time for us to meet in the next couple of days?" If you meet in person, find a private setting where you won't get interrupted. Depending on the issue, emotions may run high, or the information may be confidential.