The e-mails below are not written as clearly or concisely as they could be. In addition, they may have problems
The e-mails below are not written as clearly or concisely as they could be. In addition, they may have problems in organization or tone or mechanical errors. Rewrite them so they are appropriate for the audience and their purpose. Correct grammatical and mechanical errors. Finally, add a subject line to each.
To: Employees of The Enormously Successful Corporation
From: CEO of The Enormously Successful Corporation
Stop bringing bottled soft drinks, juices and plastic straws to work. Its an environment problem that increases our waste and the quality of our water is great. People don’t realize how much wasted energy goes into shipping all that stuff around, and plastic bottles, aluminum cans and straws are ruining our oceans and filling land fills. Have you seen the floating island of waste in the Pacific Ocean? Some of this stuff comes from other countries like Canada Dry I think is from canada and we are taking there water and Canadians will be thirsty. Fancy drinks isn’t as good as the water we have and tastes better anyway.
To: All Employees
Our Committee to Improve Inter-Office Communication has decided that there needs to be an update and revision of our policy on emailing messages to and from those who work with us as employees of this company. The following are the results of the committee’s decisions, and constitute recommendations for the improvement of every aspect of email communication.
1. Too much wordiness means people have to read the same thing over and over repeatedly, time after time. Eliminating unnecessary words, emails can be made to be shorter and more to the point, making them concise and taking less time to read.
2. You are only allowed to send and receive messages between 8:30AM east coat time and 4:30PM east coast time. You are also not allowed to read e-mails outside of these times. We know that for those of you on the west coast or travelling internationally it will reduce the time that you are allowed to attend to e-mail, but we need this to get it under control.
3. You are only allowed to have up to 3 recipients on each e-mail. If more people need to be informed it is up to the people to inform them.
This problem has been solved!
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