ASSIGNMENT 4

This assignment provides practice in applying the principles introduced in the Duke Graduate School Scientific Writing Resource. Please read lessons 1 - 3 and then complete the requests for each lesson.

Lesson 1: Subjects and Actions

https://sites.duke.edu/scientificwriting/lesson-1-subjects-and-actions/

Principle 1 - Put action into verbs

Rewrite the following sentences to eliminate the nominalizations.

1. The hormones accomplished the regulation of the patient's persistent symptoms.

1. Dr. Smith's graduate students carried out the investigation of the chemical reaction rates.

Principle 2 - Put characters in subjects

Rewrite the following sentences to highlight the actor and not the action.

1. Pollination occurred selectivity by bees moving erratically among flowers with similarly shaped blossoms.

1. Joint mobilization to reduce a patient's osteoarthritic pain is done by a physical therapist.

Principle 3 - Keep subjects near verbs

Rewrite the following to keep the verbs nearer to the subjects.

1. A longer lifetime high energy particle, observed in the interaction of cosmic rays with a cloud chamber in 1947 by a group at the University of Manchester, was identified as the strange partner of the neutral kaon.

Applications of new techniques to understand crease formation in brain lobes, including magnetic resonance imaging of 3D gel models and simulation studies

Lesson 2 - Cohesion, Coherence, and Emphasis

https://sites.duke.edu/scientificwriting/lesson-2-cohesion-coherence-and-emphasis/

Principle 1 - Put new information last

The paragraph below suffers from the misplacement of old and new information. Old information should be in the topic position (beginning) and new in the stress position (end).

For example:

Wesearched the database of sequences to look for similar structures. Aproteininvolved in the regulation of the BRCA1 gene in humans was found bythe search.

versus

Wesearched the database of sequences to look for similar structures.This searchfound aprotein involved in the regulation of the BRCA1 gene in humans.

Rewrite the paragraph using the preferred placements of old and new information to improve its "cohesion."

Not all thunderstorms produce tornadoes because wind shear, which is a change in wind speed and/or direction with height, is required. Warm moist air near the ground and cooler air aloft, which produce instability, are also needed. An unstable air mass is responsible for producing updrafts. The strength of the updrafts is increased by wind shear, and this promotes rotation. Storm spotters track tornadoes at the ground level and Doppler radar is used to detect rotation aloft. Visible observation of tornadoes is effective on the plains, but in the southeast tornadoes are often hidden in hail and rain.

Principle 2 - Use passive voice judiciously

This was presented in the Active versus Passive Voice Module of this course.

Principle 3 - Make sure the first and last sentences of a paragraph match

Coherence is a paragraph-level principle. Is the paragraph in Lesson 2, Principle 1 coherent? Explain. If it isn't, how would you revise it to make it coherent?

Lesson 3 - Concision and Simplicityhttps://sites.duke.edu/scientificwriting/lesson-3-concision-and-simplicity/

Principle 1 - Omit needless words

Principle 2 - Prefer simple words

Principle 3 - Use simple subjects

Principle 4 - Use adjectives/adverbs frugally

Apply the four principles to the following paragraph to produce a more concise and simpler version.

In our last and most recent study, the large majority of the participants were very perspicuous in responding to the question as to whether their post-operative experience met their various expectations. It was felt by most participants that they would reconsider again their degree of involvement in decisions that were being made in regard to their health. For the purpose of improving future care, we are proposing a promising new initiative that is very likely to positively enhance communications between patient and caregiver. Basically, the initiative will attempt to achieve a clear exchange of health information through the use of a patient representative who has the capacity to act as an intermediary and interpret complex medical terminology in a careful manner. We are in agreement that this could potentially ameliorate poor recovery outcomes. Note that earlier attempts and efforts by others to address the issue were expensive, difficult to implement, and not supported by hospital staff, and so failed.